Lately I can do no right . Everything even remotely annoying to my significant other is my fault. Even things that I’m not even around when they happen are my fault. I don’t talk enough, I talk too much . I never want to listen to her never ending rants that have become so utterly redundant and repeated and I commit the unforgiveable sin of rolling my eyes whenever the same old rant starts over again.
As much as I want to love her it’s becoming increasingly difficult as nothing I say, don’t say ,do or don’t do is always wrong. The temptation to pack up and leave with just the clothes on my back has never been stronger. This is a woman who just has to be right no matter what to the point that I’ve grown sick of it. The other temptation is to just end my life because I really don’t have the resources to sustain myself alone nor the physical strength to get and keep a job. I’ve been very close to being wheelchair bound on numerous occasions and only regained enough strength to walk short distances.
I just don’t want to keep up on these continuous arguments that for the most part are not of my making. About the only thing keeping me from calling it quits and taking a fatal dose is my grown kids who both live in another state. I know that me ending my own life would absolutely devistate them and likely lead at least one to follow suit if not both and so I trudge through this miserable life hoping that something will change for the better.
That’s the thing.. I stay alive in hopes that it will change and I can be happy again even though I seriously doubt that this illusive happiness is in the cards for me . Instead I’ll hold out hope until my health deteriorates to the point that it no longer sustains me.
5 comments
It seems you both spend time at places where such situations occur very often. Do you ever attempt free time activities which will set you both on ease? Hot Springs are always good destinations. Hiking will bring people to the challenge of acting as a group with a little of success on top.
It can sweep over your personality. If that’s the Case and you want an advice on Medicine you can write me. That you feel the fault on yourself in much situations, if that’s happening forceful, it is a disorder. Even a well documented one.
A disorder hasn’t to be anything bad, some of them can be resolved as an office task.
It will be mayor depressing I imagine. At certain age Humans can lose their humanity, feeling invincible. Generally very old age dependent on their past.
Sometimes insisting that you’re right to the point of belligerence can be an early sign of dementia.
Now that’s funny.
Haven’t seen your posts in a while, Clipped-Wings
Taking the blame for everything used to be one of my favorite pastimes. That way I could feel utterly responsible for every damn thing that went wrong and hopefully hit the eject button any time soon , great for me!, rather that say dude (dudette) that is about YOU!
Women are hardwired to be always right. Why else has feminism become extreme and unnecessarily harsh towards men? *Gouging your eyes out if you even hold open a door
*Or inventing a hotline for women who have been constructively criticized, /mansplained to
*Or how a man could be looked at and told he’s wrong for being a man his whole life, like Kavanaugh was by the senator of Hawaii– not that I’m putting an opinion in on the trial, but it was still said! They’re always right! Learn to survive it somehow, because it never changes haha