am i a *****

my girlfriend has me on do not disturb. her other friends are not. it makes me feel like shit !! it makes me feel so so so bad and i’ve brought it up to her & how it made me feel many times. every time she says something along the lines of “i do it so i’m not waiting around for your texts all day, stop thinking about it”. idk about you guys, but that doesn’t sound very true. it makes me feel worse she thinks she has to lie to protect my feelings. how am i supposed to think anything other than she doesn’t want to talk to me.

she’s not very affectionate, which i don’t blame her for. not to be rude to myself; but i’m very overwhelming, annoying, and boring. i wouldn’t to use my affection on me if i was her. but it hurts a lot and makes me feel worthless. i hoped talking to her about it would make her realize how bad it made me feel, but she doesn’t care. i dont think she cares about my feelings much at all. again, i don’t blame her. no one else has up until now, i wouldn’t expect the most amazing person in my life to either. so now i’m stuck in a bad spot where she knows it’s making me feel bad, but she doesn’t want to talk to me so much that she’s completely ignoring it and keeping me on do not disturb anyway.

i feel bad bringing it up to her and making her upset. i feel bad for wasting her time. i feel bad that i’m suck so much that she has to do that in the first place. i feel bad that she doesn’t respect me enough to consider my feelings legitimate. i feel bad that she doesn’t like me enough to want to talk to me. i feel bad that she knows how sad it makes me and she still doesn’t care. if it were me i’d change it in a heart beat, but im also aware im not as good as her in comparison.