I’m useless, I’ve been spoiled by material comfort.
I’m hopeless, I have been ruined by trauma.
Being raped, beaten, humiliated, kept in the closet for years of fear. Tortured in every moment by my own thoughts; my brain is against me. I’m tired of living in it.
6 comments
Where there is life there is hope, keep living my friend
You are not useless, you are more precious than you can never imagine. Those who have treated you like garbage and have abused you have no Idea the treasure they threw away. It is their loss. Do not let what they have done take from you how valuable you are. I can say this because I fight the same fight. I have allowed how others treated me almost steal my life at my own hands. I thank God I did not succeed. Please keep fighting to live and find the treasure that is you.
Thanks Keikos daughter..I’m glad you’re still around.
A friend of mine read my tarot cards and the future card said that I would find happiness and all that. That’s a reductive way to say it but. It was very positive. And with the present and past cards being so accurate, I thought, maybe…I still hope, maybe. Who knows. I suppose we’ll see. I just feel so ruined by my experiences. Irreparable. Inoperable. Dead before I’m really dead.
Keep fighting. I will try to do the same
That’s true, where there is life there is hope. I give up, at least for now. I’m floating until I can find a comfortable time. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just keep existing. I’m extremely ambivalent.
Carrying on gives hope to others who have been through what you have been through. It’s not your fault.
thank you! I do try to be open about what I’ve been through, what I go through. As a trans woman I know existing and being seen is a positive political act. As much of a soft spot as I have for those younger than me who are also trans, being an example to trans youth isnt enough for me as far as a reason to live. I’m not even a good example. I’m just existing.