Another missed opportunity. Yeah Iāve been trying to commit for a long time but none of the days feel very nice and I feel kind of like I am being watched and followed. I would have probably already committed but I get too afraid to act cause I think someone might follow me and stop me cold in the act. Yeah, I wish I could though. I think I have my method down but of course it might not be fail proof. Iād prefer an easier more certain method but hard to get where Iām at.. Iāve had to work around my inability to get my method so thatās kept me alive 12 years longer than would have been ultimately desired. Well, good that youāre still alive, I guess?? Haha
How old are you by the way? Youāre in school? Iāve been out of school for idk, 7 years but I became suicidal while I was in school so I understand how stressful that can be.
I’m now 18. I hate my country…I just want to die. High school drained the soul and passion in me and I’m just an empty shell. I hate how the privileged fucks in my school are like “why are you all so negative? i’m having fun!” like stfu karen, you have time, money, and are on top of the social hierarchy — of COURSE you’d have more fun or be less stressed compared to the rest of us. I know optimism is important in keeping people sane and happy, but…I don’t have the discipline or the grit to survive. Maybe I’m just one of those kids the oldies keep ranting about.
“Too selfish! Too weak! Too lazy!”
Sometimes I kinda believe in just letting humanity die off from despair or something because we deserve it. We ruined this planet. I don’t know anymore.
I canāt stand people like that but to be honest I canāt stand any people at all. I just think human life is ultimately distasteful. My plan was a nice easy fun plan of killing myself the day I turned 18. Sure high school occupied my days but did I want to be there? No. Did I want to go home? No I was terrified of going home. Did I want to pass 18 and become an adult? Never. I was sure itād be all over before 18 passed. Of course after high school graduation nothing changes except you no longer have going to school to fill your schedule from 7-3 so you sit and do nothing day in and day out and think about how complete waste of time all of those years of schooling were. And then people start bugging you. And then you decide you want to buy some sh*t or you want to not commit so you have to do lame *ss jobs for lame *ss n*ggers to afford rent. And then people start scaring you. I just thought itās more trouble than it was worth so Iād commit while I was young so I wouldnāt end up trapped in this sh*thole. Iām almost 25 now. Every day I pray I could go back in time and kill myself on that day. I still hate myself as much as I did then.
I donāt worry much about the present and the future because I know one day Iāll just commit and nothing will ever happen again that Iāll have to witness.
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Another missed opportunity. Yeah Iāve been trying to commit for a long time but none of the days feel very nice and I feel kind of like I am being watched and followed. I would have probably already committed but I get too afraid to act cause I think someone might follow me and stop me cold in the act. Yeah, I wish I could though. I think I have my method down but of course it might not be fail proof. Iād prefer an easier more certain method but hard to get where Iām at.. Iāve had to work around my inability to get my method so thatās kept me alive 12 years longer than would have been ultimately desired. Well, good that youāre still alive, I guess?? Haha
How old are you by the way? Youāre in school? Iāve been out of school for idk, 7 years but I became suicidal while I was in school so I understand how stressful that can be.
I’m now 18. I hate my country…I just want to die. High school drained the soul and passion in me and I’m just an empty shell. I hate how the privileged fucks in my school are like “why are you all so negative? i’m having fun!” like stfu karen, you have time, money, and are on top of the social hierarchy — of COURSE you’d have more fun or be less stressed compared to the rest of us. I know optimism is important in keeping people sane and happy, but…I don’t have the discipline or the grit to survive. Maybe I’m just one of those kids the oldies keep ranting about.
“Too selfish! Too weak! Too lazy!”
Sometimes I kinda believe in just letting humanity die off from despair or something because we deserve it. We ruined this planet. I don’t know anymore.
I canāt stand people like that but to be honest I canāt stand any people at all. I just think human life is ultimately distasteful. My plan was a nice easy fun plan of killing myself the day I turned 18. Sure high school occupied my days but did I want to be there? No. Did I want to go home? No I was terrified of going home. Did I want to pass 18 and become an adult? Never. I was sure itād be all over before 18 passed. Of course after high school graduation nothing changes except you no longer have going to school to fill your schedule from 7-3 so you sit and do nothing day in and day out and think about how complete waste of time all of those years of schooling were. And then people start bugging you. And then you decide you want to buy some sh*t or you want to not commit so you have to do lame *ss jobs for lame *ss n*ggers to afford rent. And then people start scaring you. I just thought itās more trouble than it was worth so Iād commit while I was young so I wouldnāt end up trapped in this sh*thole. Iām almost 25 now. Every day I pray I could go back in time and kill myself on that day. I still hate myself as much as I did then.
I donāt worry much about the present and the future because I know one day Iāll just commit and nothing will ever happen again that Iāll have to witness.