I don’t know how to deal with all the conflicting stuff that goes through my head. So many competing contradictory priorities and impulses, all seeming vitally important in some way. I don’t know which direction to go. People always say ‘listen to your heart’. But my ‘heart’ tells me very different things from moment to moment, and I suspect it may not be a reliable guide.
Much of the time I think it would be for the best to end it, as quickly and painlessly as possible. End any chance of greater suffering. But then that would negate all my other conflicting impulses. And I have no idea how much weight to give any one priority.
How do you end your suffering whilst also being there to protect your loved ones? How do you pursue happiness and connection whilst shielding yourself from the pain of despair? How do you preserve the world whilst also wanting to bring it to an end. How do you pursue hedonism whilst living morally righteously?
I wish I could be just one thing. There’s too much in my head, and it’s tearing me apart. I’m pulled in every direction, and I end up going nowhere.
1 comment
Hi thehusk,
well i sometimes have that problem myself, this may sound stupid but write down the things you need to do, then put them in priority, as you think of stuff put it on the list, start with no.1 if you can’t do anything about it at the moment then go to no.2 and so on, refresh list everyday. that way top priority stuff gets attention first. The most bang for your buck “Efforts”