the voice comes at least three times a month, i’m tired of changing who i am over and over again. i can’t control my tears even though nothing happened, it tells me that i shouldn’t have ever existed, there’s no way out, i just want happiness for my family.
but how can i satisfy them when i kept having the thought? it’s 28C yet i still feel cold, i want to eat but i haven’t tasted anything good in months, i can’t help but disappoint them. they wonder what happened to their loving child, i’m getting frustrated in every word people say. i can’t keep this up, i did nothing, i’m crying too much to write this. i’m really weak for not being able to handle my emotions, i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry. if i had a fucking mess of a child like this i would treat her worse than you do.
3 comments
You’re in a much worse place then most people on this site. And if you’re hearing voices, then it’s a hundred times harder to control your emotions. That does not make you really weak, but it means you’re in a much more fragile place right now.
I won’t give you advice — I can feel the pain in your post.
I want you to know that I relate, and that I’m sending you my best wishes. Please take care of yourself.
I wouldn’t say your problem isn’t like anyone else’s here. I was thinking the same thing for the past week. I’ve become something else. Something more than depression. The voices screaming at me that I’m a fail. My past constantly playing in my mind like a movie. I’m always cold. (But I’m not sure if it’s a mental thing. Health problem or just me) and no matter how many spices and sauces i add food tastes bland. I have no interest for it. I was starting to wonder if I really was alone or if the people on this site just didn’t talk about their major problems thinking it would just make them out of place in the only place they felt accepted. Honestly I’m really sorry for where you are. It sucks. Yesterday I sat here changing my mind every minute on whether or not I wanted ice cream and I always want ice cream (I know not a big deal but to me it seemed like a problem that just showed how broken I am and that upset me even more also that’s one of my more minor problems now that I think about it lol) anyway it’s nice to know I’m not the only one here that has those types of problems. If you want to talk more that would be awesome. I also suffer from hallucinations and cap gras (I think I spelt it right lol)
You’re not alone bro i feel the same way. I barely go outside the house because of my low self-esteem and social anxiety. I spent most of my time watchimg netflix and anime shit.Only moment when i can smile a bit.I’ve tried many times to change my habit but it doesnt last more than 2Week and im back to being a loser.Gonna start going to gym again lets see how lonf i last.