I can’t do this shit for much longer. There’s not much point in having a boyfriend who lives so far away. Now I’m back to my boring, crap, miserable existence. I really want to help him out but what’s the point… I don’t know how I’m meant to wait to see him in person again. Fuck there really is a reason why women go after rich guys or guys with money at least… well I wanted to not be such a shallow ***** but I can’t pretend I don’t ponder this, or at least that I don’t ponder getting a local boyfriend instead. Because, I do. I really do.
I hate that he’s the only thing that made me happy, he made me smile, he made me feel alive… He’s the only thing I can really bother living for. But I’m ok with dying if we don’t meet again in a few months. I’ve had enough of this existence. Really tired of it and I want out.
5 comments
this resonated with me so much. sorta the same situation
You may ( after reading this ) think oh what a silly idea this is easier said than done but I write it anyway because I have been exactly in same condition and also have seen people in your condition. I think you should find a new person who makes you laugh and feel good you may think it’s not fair to your boyfriend or you may think it’s not possible you can even do that you may think you won’t be as happy as that you was with him with anyone elthior that nobody will replace him but those are just things you think now .you will see how easy you can left a person and find another one and be even happier after a while and you will wonder how easy you will get used to that new person. It may sound cruel to you now but you deserve to be happy and you deserve to have the best possible person near you to share and to be whatever a good friend means for you. I hope instead of thinking to end your life you just change your life style a little .
I have no one.
You have yourself.
In the end, that is really what we all have.
I don’t understand LDRs. It’s going to hurt you, sooner or later.
But that probably is not the main issue here. You can’t be fully emotionally dependent on another person. That just never works out, no matter what kind of a relationship it is.