It’s getting a lot harder to fight against this feeling anymore… I’m trying so hard to get better. To feel better. To act better. I’m trying to think in a better manner. Think in a way that doesn’t jump to death right away. But it’s getting tiring, and I’m not sure I have the endurance to keep going

I found a few things that I care about a lot recently. Things that give me a bit of life. But today especially, they’re not enough.

As much as I want to learn the language that I’ve been devoting my time, or practice the sport that I’ve discovered, or play the game that I’ve been enjoying, or even watch the show that’s captured my heart… I can’t bring myself to. I can’t bring myself to do something I love, no matter how simple it is.

Just sitting here is taking all of my strength. I thought I had gotten better.

All that I want right now is to die again.