I can feel that sickening sensation again, where I’m sinking, drowning again. It happens so quickly, everything seems like it’s bearable at least and then my subconscious starts to haunt me and I get pulled under again.
I’ve been having very vivid dreams lately, not necessarily nightmares, but they are tugging at my insecurities and breaking me down inside.
There is no escape from yourself.
I don’t want to go on this ride again.
I’m trying desperately to hold on but like water over a cliff I keep falling.
3 comments
You’re your own worst enemy, I resonate hard with what you said
I can relate to every word of this post. The “Sickening Sensation” you mention grabbed me Sunday totally out of the blue, that was what I found disturbing there was no warning it just got me. As regards the unpleasant dreams you mention there is a hypothesis that bad dreams come in the latter part of the morning post 5 or 6 am. I normally wake about 6 and find if I fall back asleep I’m subject to nightmares so the hypothesis I mention could be correct.
I wake up between 5:30-6:00 every day, I like to have some quiet time to drink coffee and reflect on things before anyone else wakes up.
I’ve heard a lot that there are triggers that make it all start but if they are there they are sure hard to identify.