It’s been a bad day. It’s been forever since I’ve had this bad of a day. I can barely leave my bed. I keep crying for no reason. Why do I exist. I want to just disappear. I wish I was dead so badly. I wake up every morning just wanting to do it but I can’t because other people will be sad and I can’t do that to them. Why can’t I just be selfish.
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Sorry it’s this bad. Sounds like textbook depression with all its crippling benefits. When you can’t be the selfish needed to end the pain, you can at least take comfort in having the option to be selfish. That concept has been my only comfort on many dark days…it’s so nice to know that if things reach a certain point, there’s always the option…