Most of the time, the only option left for us is to die. It’s not like we deliberately want to die, maybe some of us do, but it is just the only viable option the world gave us.
I did try to fight. I really did. I didn’t try to fight because I wanted to live. I tried to fight because other people wanted me to – people that actually do love me. But it seems like the world is going against me. It feels like the world is a better place if I am not here anymore. Fight you say? What’s the point if it will just be continuous pain and suffering.
How do you guys find the will to fight it?
2 comments
I just keep going because suicide is hard. I’m not sure I’m fighting, just keeping on going for no apparent reason whilst things continue to get harder.
Agreed with you BV, there were a few times I hit “rock bottom” my life really sucked but I was trapped. I wished I could’ve traded lives with anyone else at that time.
But like you said suicide is hard. Additionally in my case, I couldn’t leave my mother on her own, she would’ve suffered way more than I had and my rotten selfish siblings would never help her.
Granted I was very short-sighted and put myself in that position also without giving much thought to my future.
Anyways through a lot of hard work, I put my mother and myself in a better position. I was unemployed at the time and we lived in a bad apt. Eventually I found a job, and moved to a much better place after.
Maybe if my mother wasn’t around, like if she passed away when I was younger, then there really wouldn’t be anything keeping me around. I think I would’ve definitely found a way to end my life at that point-because I really was sick of all my suffering at that point.
For me the struggle really wasn’t worth it. That was about 10-15 yrs ago. Gradually life has improved since then but I’m not at the level I want to be at. But this time around I’m working for a decent company which has room for growth, so financially I can do better if I wanted.
But I’m also working on a side project that should put me in a good place if all goes well and I think I will succeed since I know what’s needed to be done. If I pull it off, I’ll be set for the rest of my life.
So I guess the lesson here is that if you are able to improve your life and feel you have things to live for, then it’s certainly worth trying. If it’s just a bad life that is getting worse then there are other options.