My neighbour sexually abused me. He thought I was isolated and vulnerable. He commented on my appearance and then started to feel my body up and down and then he pulled down my top and started to suck on my breasts. We were sitting on a couch together.
I’ve already had a bad experience with reporting past sexual assault by another man a few years ago to police. I thought my neighbour could be trusted. He seemed helpful, kind and friendly. I was shocked when he started assaulting me.
My neighbour is a person of colour and he has some family scattered around here, I don’t want to report him in fear of retaliation, and potentially being labelled as a ‘racist’. Also that I’m poor and don’t have enough money to just ‘go and move away’.
I did not flirt with him in any way, I was discussing generic stuff when he suddenly started to do this.
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5 comments
Did you tell him to stop or pushed him away? It was possible he thought it was okay because you didn’t say anything. Not saying what he did was right. Where you in shock of what was happening around you? If this is something that’s been going on for a lomg time, I would just cut ties with the person. Now for the sexual charge, it wouldn’t lable yourself as a racist. I’m black myself and the whole race card is way over used. If you had told him to stop and he just kept at it, I would press charges. No one has the right to touch you that way without permission.
I was in complete shock of what was occurring to me and I was afraid if I said anything that he might become even worse. Today I finally told him off for it.
I’m glad you were able to tell him how you really felt about it. Just know that you can always say no. I know it can make you feel like things might have been worse, but you have the right to do it. My guess is that since you didn’t say anything, he thought it was okay. When you say no or try to pull away, that lets him no you don’t want it. If he keeps at it anyway, then that becomes an issue and you have every right to call the police about it and report it. Doesn’t matter what his race is. You’d be doing the right thing. Just remember next time if you feel uncomfortably or don’t want to do anything with someone, say no and if it gets worse, call the police if he tries anything on you. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable doing. Just remember that.
It’s disgusting what he did, no excuse, and I also understand how you’re stuck because reporting him would create a bigger backlash for you. One thing that might be a good idea is if you tell a trusted friend, anyone, so that there’s a witness to your complaint. In fact this post you made here on SP could be critical evidence, recording when it happened, the details as you remember them on this day.
Say he moves away, or you move away, and he is no longer a threat to you. You should still be able to file charges against him at a later date.
Too many sexual predators in this world, like literally your next door neighbor. Ideally they should be punished and that will make them stop (or think twice), but in the real world I know what you’re saying. The “justice” system ends up making life far worse for the victim. So just make a record of it, for now.
I am so sorry to hear this. It has happened to me too. Man on man. Hurts like hell.