has anyone else reached the point where you don’t even bother trying to figure out what went wrong, bad luck, trauma, attackers, failures, whatever. It’s all just a shit soup and it’s ridiculous to pick out the ingredients. It’s equally ridiculous figure out what would fix it, a dash of marjoram, a hint of rosemary, whatever. There’s no point trying to rationalize this.
I had a great day not long ago. Like it actually felt good to be alive. Today nothing has changed but the only thing stopping me from jumping off a skyscraper is no skyscrapers around here.and jumping off a ranch house doesn’t quite have that same punch.
anyway the point is, whatever. I could gripe about a million things or I could gripe about nothing. same result except by saying nothing I don’t further pollute the world with hot air
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I kind of get that. It gets to the point where trying to reason it out, or find a solution, or try your hardest to reframe it seems so pointless. It is what it is and there’s really nothing that will change it. I’m happy to hear that you had a great day. Sorry they can’t all be like that. Hope things get better for you.
thanks. and yes you get it. it’s like we’re desperately trying to make sense of things, to figure out what we did wrong, to assign blame, to learn from every experience, predict future events, explain the past, or theorize about unknown forces. but sometimes shit just happens. We can reframe it all we want but it doesn’t really change anything
you know there are other high ledges, right? not encouraging it, I got a chuckle out of no point jumping off a ranch house
but yeah, the root stuff is so rooted….. there’s no way any of us is pulling it out. I’ve been wrestling with a tech issue, well, a couple, but finally I reached the point that even if I resolve it, I’ll still feel empty, still want to die
I was supposed to have a therapy appointment today, but I never got the reminder, and I live on those reminders…. so no therapy. The thing about it is that I’m not sure I’m that much worse off. Go in for an hour and talk about how pointless it all is…. meanwhile bleeding gas to get there, and patience to sit in the lobby…. which isn’t to say that remote is any better for me, for the planet sure, but I’m a drop in the ocean of what all is screwed up with the climate.
Oh, but speaking of, talking alone is carbon neutral. Eating is the thing that actually makes greenhouse gasses worse, because your body produces methane while digesting, and methane is like 10 times worse than CO2…… so I have a rational reason not to eat, if I ever get challenged on it.
It’s also much worse eating meat, because that meat ate stuff, generated methane, now you’re eating that meat, generating more methane….. IDK why I’m so fascinated by how doomed our planet is….. just seems like important stuff to know. Veganism isn’t even possible for most people, so who are the real monsters?
someone with a yacht, surely. No one needs a yacht.
yipee I’ve been vegan for a while so maybe I’m less of a planet killer than the average planet killer. Or in keeping with the spirit of this thread, maybe the planet is doomed no matter what whether it happens in 50 years from methane or tomorrow from an asteroid, and it won’t matter if we lived a clean life and rode our bikes instead of the bus… idk. it’s maddening. The bottom line is: does anything matter? or does EVERYTHING matter?
i literally can’t even guess.
hah yeah I never tried jumping off a ranch house but there was a kid on youtube who used to do it and film himself. surprisingly he never got injured. he killed himself later… gunshot I think. correlation? a cry for help? a deathwish? or maybe just a kid who jumps off roofs and then one day decides to kill himself.
see, as an agnostic I feel some compulsion to defend the idea that somewhere something has meaning. Anything is so wide, that’s a hard book to close to meaning.
Imagine for example there is a man somewhere who really loves his cat, to him, that cat matters….. thus “anything matters”, I love the weird arbitrary nature of logic math…. if there were sufficient justice in the world I’d get to teach it all the time, and be paid for it… and there I almost slipped into the linguistic pattern I make jokes about by saying “any” instead of sufficient
for example, back to our old man with a cat, supposing the cat knocked his coffee off the table, and the old man locked the cat in the bathroom for an hour…. well that would be justice, thus there would be “any” justice
However I can also disprove that everything matters, because everything is just as wide. Back to our old man, what the old man’s name is doesn’t matter, therefor everything doesn’t matter.
I think this is part of why people are so anti science; the nature of language defies it. When someone says something quantifiable, testable, then a nerd like me can work out the consequences. Most people aren’t nearly as amused as me about the old man who can prove or disprove any overly broad statement. but I am, because think about it, that old man doesn’t care…. and neither does his cat.
oh, so what I didn’t get around to saying was that the reality is an indeterminate amount of things matter. In practice the quantity and even proportion to things that don’t matter is indeterminable.
but that’s not much fun; I find that my personal evidence tends towards very little mattering, and it is indeterminable whether this accurately represents the total set of things capable of mattering. All the same, that’s the saddest mathematical statement one could make, I assume. At very least it is a member of the set of things that can make even mathematicians cry.
plot twist: The old man in your story is named Schrödinger, and his cat exists in a concurrent state of mattering & not mattering.
heh a little science nerd humor right back atcha.
But yeah I agree that an indeterminate amount of things matter, and a [much MUCH larger] indeterminate amount of things don’t matter. As Capt Kirk says to that space brat Charlie X, “there are a million things in the universe you can have, and there are a million things in the universe you can’t have”
The clip, and Charlie’s reaction, sums up my entire existence:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duzYhRyyepU
As for the ratio of matter:dont matter (or can have:cant have) I think you’re right, it would be so damn infinitessimal it would make any scientist weep. Or to put it in scientific terms, it would be literally “insignificant”. In math, a trillion-quintillion-mega-gob-stopping-squiggly-jillion divided by infinity is still……. 0
Yeah one moment I talk about a thing, that seems so innocent and the next, I realize: Wow, there’s so much trauma in the way I’m acting, cause the person I’m talking to, can’t seem to grip my frustration.
It’s pretty hard to know, where it exactly came from. There’s plenty of occurrences in life, where something bad happened.
Kinda frustrated rn, to talk to an optimist about a thing, that I’m fighting against/for everyday.
Happy people don’t ever try to answer everything out of place that comes to mind, I think that’s the difference between us folks on here and the rest of the world.
Exactly…. there’s no point talking to happy people about these issues. It’s not their fault but it’s like trying to describe colors to a blind person. or more like trying to desribe a broken bone to someone who’s never had a scratch. If there’s no common ground then there’s no point.
Sometimes I like talking to depressed suicidal traumatized people, but talking to them about stuff that’s not related to all that. yakno just shootin the shit about whatever. there’s like an unspoken communication on a deeper level because we can pick up on cues, triggers, flashbacks, or maybe just random anxiety. So in other words, it’s counterproductive to explain why you’re this way. Either they get it (by association) or they don’t. and no amount of words can make up for it