I ran into some videos about applying for disability, the sorts of questions they ask, what they want to know, and frankly it has me at a pretty dark place. Because they want to make it out that the person applying could work. They use all the tactics of all the bad employers I’ve had. Because APPARENTLY it is my job to make a company function such that I can keep working for them. I should have been asking for accomodations. If I can function socially, and stand for extended periods of time, I don’t have a problem?!
I’m in a dark wishing my life was over just thinking about being asked these questions. Because I’m not a criminal, I’ve never committed an actual crime in my life. But EVERYTHING in this process is making me think crime is a better option. and I can’t do that either…. darn moral code is pretty deep in my bones.
the social security administration might as well say; you have a rope, you have a ligature point (someplace to hang from), why are you asking US for help?!
and I wonder that myself right now. I’m fully capable to die, if me being alive is such a bother I have to retraumatize myself, great, I’ll find a way to off myself, no problem, if that is the official stance of the government, that I have to explain how hard I tried to make it work, how I failed over and over again to convince my employers to assist me………….
I’m calling the hotline, the chances of me actually getting help are slim, but I’m out of better options.