42 days before last July 4, I made up my mind. It was dialed in. Then someone who said they were my friend blew back into my life, only to ghost me in September, because I didn’t feel romantically for them, something we were clear on the year before, or so she said she was ok with. Really pulled out the carpet from under me. I had another “friend” who I caught deep feelings for, who ghosted me after telling her. Same month. Left my job the next month because it was killing my soul. I have a dog I adopted a year and a half ago. She spent her first two years in a shelter. Shes my heart, a good soul. It crushes me to leave her. We’ll be broke and homeless in a couple months, it isn’t looking good. Moved to a place where opportunities are few and far between, backed myself into a deep corner. My ex told me our dog died in October. I have no one, and nothing. Spent a life building a marriage that failed, and have grown to hate my chosen field. Almost 60 now. Find myself crying every day, sleeping the days away and working up the courage to do the one small thing.
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I’m sorry none of it worked out right. I hope you dodge homelessness. What was your dog like? Was she a happy dog? Relationships are confusing. I always felt like it’d be easier if they said they wanted nothing to do with you to your face instead of the deafening silence they give. But now I’m not sure. I guess it depends on the person. Hope you manahe to find something that will get you up in the morning.
Shes a happy caring decent soul. Yeah closure would be nice, it eats at me sometimes, the unanswered questions. No hate, hope they get what they want.
Me too, but at this point I have no enjoyment in anything. Even rotten sleep. I used to see the path ahead, even when in a bad place, just can’t anymore, and the way the world is going might just be for the best.