I think about this one line from Fioana and Cake alot about how life is a cycle of learning and unlearning and learning again. I don’t know why that just really stuck to me. I think I have regressed. I was in a place where I was somewhat efficient and felt like I was somewhat comfortable with everything. Now it feels hard to be in the same room as some of my labmates. Like I physically can’t stand it. I need to be alone in the lab. So instead I run away from my problems. Like my first semester. I feel this mixture of panic and indifference towards my situation. Like I simultaneously feel the need to go and get everything done as soon as humanly possible but no energy to even get up. As usual my brain is a mass of contradictions. Thinking about skipping my team meeting tomorrow. Give them some lame excuse that I have an appointment. I already told my advisor that I’d try to have an assembled robot by the end of this week. Even when I was saying it I was hesitating and everyone could tell. Been slowly printing out the parts. Dropped like $150 of my own money because I didn’t want to wait for a purchase order. As if that matters. Probably won’t ammount to anything in the end. Just no good.
Been listening to Of Monsters and Men lately again. Loved them when I was in highschool. Or at least one of their Albums.