I know it’s really stupid but sometimes I just… really want a hug. To be held. Even if it’s just for a minute. But instead I’m stuck here, staring at the ceiling attempting to sleep because I know I have to get up early tomorrow but I just can’t. I feel so alone… I feel so alone all the time and I hate it so much. I know I’m just a burden, I know I’ve brought everything upon myself, I know I’m not worth the time, but… still, I just want to be hugged…
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5 comments
I don’t think it’s silly to want a hug. Humans crave contact, that seems incredibly logical to me. In fact, if I remember correctly, i’m pretty sure receiving hugs on a consistent basis actually improves mental health.
No it’s not silly at all. I think we all just want to be near and touched by those we care about. We all want to be cared for and have people to care about. Solitude is torment for most people.
I’m sorry, you said stupid, and I should use the word even though it was REALLY drilled into me never to say that. See because I was one of the “stupid” kids, I had a learning disability being corrected I became fascinated by the spectrum of human function.
The main thrust of which was that there are different areas of function, and few people excel in them all. It is more useful to specialize, learn what you do best…. *sigh* I will not be a kindergarden teacher or a kids show host.
Being vulnerable and having feelings and needs doesn’t make you weak or bad. It makes you human. It’s okay to be human.
I’m interested, if you have more to the story I’ll be around because it sounds like you need someone rooting for you, which I am.
Funny, it’s always been made very clear to me that things that I say are stupid, dramatic, attention seeking, etc, but I wasn’t allowed to say stupid either haha. So, I just assume it’s something I’m not supposed to think or feel, but I fail at that as well.
Is it really okay to be human, I wonder? Is there like… a right way to do so? I clearly don’t meet that criteria either. At least I don’t think I do because if I do accidentally express anything it gets shot down quickly. I don’t even mind solitude to a point, I’m pretty introverted, but even when I’m around people I’m just on the outside looking in, and I know I’m not supposed to be there, and it makes the loneliness escalate. It’s not their fault, they’re not obligated to like me- no one is, that would be ridiculous to imply, and I really should just stop complaining about it, but I still do so here, obviously.
A lot of times I don’t feel like I’m functioning very well at all at anything, much less in anything in particular that I could specialize in. To know what I can do best. Honestly anything I can do (if anything) can be done a million times better than anyone else, and I’m aware of that.
I probably come off so childish in my replies and posts such as these, and I try really hard not to be, but I can’t help it. But maybe that’s why people don’t wanna be around me, idk. I worry about that a lot. Everything just hurts so much sometimes, you know? I don’t know if I deserve being rooted for, or cared about at all, or anything, but I appreciate that you do (regarding the last part of your comment obv) nonetheless, so thank you.
It’s not stupid at all, we’re humans and we’re social creatures, it’s natural to crave affection and physical touch like hugs, but you are not a burden.
It’s not stupid to want friends or to want closeness with someone to share a hug.
I’d hug you if I could.