My body’s starting to break down. I have gotten fair amount of sleep the past few days after my all-nighter. However I haven’t eaten a meal since Tuesday. Had almonds and jerky and dried pineapple. Gas station stuff. I don’t know why. I’m not too busy to get something. My fridge is empty. Still haven’t went grocery shopping. Starting to feel the effect. My mind is still wrapped in barbed wire. Told my uncle I’m not graduating. First person I’ve told. He mentioned other things I could do like work and go to school or do an extra semester. I told him I’m not going to do any of that. I told him I could get 10 extra semesters and it wouldn’t change anything. Have to call it. He asked what I was going to do then. Lied and said look for work. This is what I asked for. To be pushed into a corner. While crossing the street I slowed down and almost stopped when a car was coming. Still moved. Would have hard braked anyways. Apparently I found a way to do it painless and quick with easy access. Don’t want to share it in case I get anyone killed. Would rather not have that on my conscious. Can’t think straight.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
2 comments
Once you’ve mentally given up your body starts to join your mind in doing so. I imagine lots of people feel this way at this point. You’re not alone in that regard. I had an exact opposite reaction and started over-eating. I’m convinced this much poisonous processed crap can surely expedite my time remaining on this planet. I am not scared of dying, I am scared of failure. So extra precautions have been … taken.
I’m with you. I haven’t eaten in days, maybe little snacks like cheeze it and mtn dew along with my fat blunt and Marlboro light cigarettes. I find myself in a deep haze, stomach knotted, chain smoking and barley any sleep. Complete panic attacks all day momentarily. I find myself lethargic, looking down, don’t want to deal with strangers at all. Trying to avoid the grocery store. If not. Always looking down not making any eye contact, can’t show people my pain and it’s written all over my face.