I will be 38 this year. It appears to be that there is nothing to look forward to except death. I’m suffocating from the loneliness. I don’t have the money to improve my appearance to what men want. I’m black and ugly, and stupid and nothing will ever change that. I’m getting to the end of retaining new information without losing something else. I hate being born to die. I hate that I place my self worth in the hands of others.Why do I let the marketers get to me? For now I’m chicken shit but one day I think I’ll be able to get the charcoal and get the job done. I’ll die from old age maybe, but never loved.This world is cruel what is the point of being alive?
2 comments
dont say that please im here if you need to talk i understand how u feel…write to me if u wanna i’d love that
e-mail-mkafan12@yahoo.com
Hey sweetie, I turn 38 this year too, and my future looks bleak as well. I’m a white person, not black, but that’s hardly important is it… seeming as I deal with alot of the same issues. And oh yeah I have seriously bad memory too, but then I always have had. If my life was better and I was moderately happy in who I am then I wouldn’t mind going into my 40s at all; as essentially it’s the start of middle-age and that next stage of life’s journey. But the thing is I’m totally not, my life sux big time, and the only things keeping me alive now are my beloved doggies… and they’re getting old now, it won’t be long. =(
So hmm I understand how you’re feeling, cuz I feel a similar way, take care…