It’s been a couple of months since the last time I wrote here. For awhile I was feeling better, but now I feel even worse then I did before. The last time that I wrote here for me suicide was just something that I kept thinking about, but I wasn’t ready to do it, I was just too scared of dying. Now I think that I’m ready, or at least I’m not scared anymore because I know that whatever will come after death it’s going to be different from how I’m living now. Anyway there are two reasons why I’m writing here now, but since I’m writing on my phone and this stupid phone only allows me to write limited text in 1 post I’ll probably just writte the other thing that’s bothering me on a different post, so the first thing is that I think I have depression I took about 15 online depression quizes and I know that only a doctor can tell if I have dispression for sure but every one of these quizes said that I have depression and almost all of the symptoms fit me perfectly. At least now I know why I always feel like that :\
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A docter doesn’t even have to do a diagnose. Depression is when you feel very unhappy for a very long time. I am going to a psychologist now for near 2 months. I just went to the docter and told everything about my depression and suicidal thoughts. He gave me anti depression medication immediately. You should definitely do the same.
Medications can help but don’t expect a miracle. It’s like doing brain surgery with a knife and fork. The mind is too complex.
Thanks for the responses, but the problem is that I can’t get any medication or go to a doctor because nobody even suspects that I’m even sad. I’m 14 I don’t want my parents to find out that I have depression because I don’t want to be treated differently, I always just act like everything is fine
Hey Kate my name also happens to be Kate and i’m also 14. Funny to see this type of a coinkydink. Secondly you sound a lot like myself with the quizzes thing and the fact i also call my phone stupid. If your birthday is in April i will also laugh.
Kate i know you don’t want to go to a doctor but how about a school nurse. They keep things confidential aswell. Or if you can try to consult a pharmacist, and i do voulantry work there and i know it is confiential.
Kate there are also other ways of recovering but they are hard to do. You need the will to do it. You have to force yourself out of the state. I don’t know how deep into depression you are but you have to pull yourself out. For starters you can try and keep yourself busy- school clubs, taking up a new hobby, learning piano, reading books, or even volunteer work like i do help. Parents think your being nice when in actual its self healing. There you get to see the bright sides of life and you can hang on better when you are away from suicidal thoughts and in a better place
We’re here if you need us
Take Care
Hey Kate, I ran the full gamut of medications, doctor visits and tests. For some reason we need a label to explain how we feel. The truth is, you can choose how you want to feel by virtue of your choice even amidst feeling crappy. It’s something you have to practice and intend. For me, life is a wild opportunistic challenge, for sure. However, I’ve practiced good feeling thoughts. I practice them continuously and a part of me feels quite positive and good. Physically my health isn’t top of the charts but because I made a choice that nothing was more important than, that I feel good it’s working.
Just a suggestion, if you want to experiment with your thoughts. Make a choice and follow through. You can’t get it wrong. I was intrigued as you said you were feeling better at one point so part of me gets the sense you may reinvigorate that lovely part of you. But you have to actively choose to go in that direction. And if you’re still planning of making an exit, many people transition in a positive state of mind. Hope that helps a bit. The mind is a powerful tool, we either put it in service of ourselves or we allow it to run wild and run us. Best of luck!