Earlier I tried to hang myself. To be honest it was partly experimental but now I’m surrounded by my family and won’t get another chance to try again ( hopefully for the final time) until tomorrow. What the hell can I do in the mean time!!!??!!?!??!?
3 comments
Erhm… Angry Birds?
Erhm… Angry Birds is not what needs to be done. You need to think about what you are doing. Whatever reason you have please stop and think. Think about the fallout that will follow your decision. You will be hurting the ones that love and care for you most, trust me there are people that care. In your state of mind, I believe, you feel alone maybe confused. Believe me, you are not alone, confused maybe, but not alone. Please ask or look for someone to talk to. You are making a life altering decision not just about you but about all that surround your life. Is the final image you want to leave be the one of death. I will never forget the day I went to my brother and best friends home to find he had made that choice to take his own life. After calling 911 and trying with all my might to use CPR to bring him back I felt like a failure. Now everyday I wake up to his face, blue – lifeless. it is like an alarm clock that goes off in my head. I feel the pain of his lose everyday of my life. Now I have to live with the pain. I am not mad at him, that did pass, but I loved him with all my soul and now that part of myself is gone. I guarantee there is someone, somewhere that will miss you. Someone will have to live the rest of their lives remembering you in that way. Afterall someone will have to find you and bring the news that you are gone. I hope you change your mind and give life another chance. You never know what the future will bring you. Take Care……
@blackened fish:
all the emotional investment you had in your bro aside, what (else) does prevent you from grieving his death like a ‘normal’ death ? do you feel betrayed ? do you think you’ll ever get to a point where you can accept his choice (even if you don’t approve it) ?
I’m trying to understand suicide from a loved one perspective