Author

10days

4.5

by 10days 5/4/2013

written by 10days

in order to save myslef i decided i decided that by the time these 10 days are up i’d need to have: someone, something, and some place to live for.

and i’ve finally got all three.

yesterday i called my grandmother to check on her and chat. we got to talking about my dad’s move. he’s been acting his usual passive-agressive and hurtful self. she feels like a burden. she began to cry on the phone and told me that as long as i was here, and as long as she has me; everything will be ok. i love her. she’s the only person in my life […]

5/4/2013 1 comment

7

by 10days 5/1/2013

written by 10days

i haven’t cut in 5 months. sometimes i burn myself, punch things, smash my head on my bed frame; but it feels different to me. it’s like cutting seems like a waste of time to me now because it’s not bringing me any closer to death and i just have to stare at it after. my art show is getting closer and i just found out that one of my favorite musicians is coming to boston in august… that’s something to look forward to if i’m alive. i don’t really know how i’m feeling. this is just a rant i guess. i still have no […]

5/1/2013 0 comment

9.5

by 10days 4/29/2013

written by 10days

it’s not that no one notices me, it’s just that the only people that notice me are repulsed by my existence. i’m too young, too ugly, too fat to love. in school all of my friends are guys. straight girls pretend to fight over me but no oneÂ reallyÂ wants me. it’s all just a joke. i’m actually not feeling that bad today. i’m in school, preparing for my art show, working my ass off staying busy. but still; i’d rather be gone than be here. i’d rather be bleeding, or high, or dead.

4/29/2013 6 comments

10 days

by 10days 4/28/2013

written by 10days

it’s become evident that as of now my life is not worth living. i am miserable, lonely, and i cant afford to wait years, months, or weeks for my life to get better. i’ve been waiting for as long as i can remember. the only thing that i’ve learned from mental hospitals is that committing suicide is a selfish act. but isn’t it selfish to force someone to live in pain and agony day after day when they just want to die? i’m lonely. my dad is moving out of the state, my best friend only cares about drinking, and guys only use me for […]

4/28/2013 5 comments