havn’t looked up suicide methods in a while, and I’ve been harming less :3 I’ve not even been trying really, it’s just not been on my mind.
I hope this is it. I hope this will be my last year. I really do, I really really do just want to be happy.
Here’s a shot. Joshua hopkins, Iguana, Morbid, Sati. if you’re here. please come on msn more |: everyone else has turned into a backstabbing dip shit with no morals. or they need my help. just need someone to talk to occasionally. could use a friend.
Am I insane? he just left me on my own, and now? All I wanna do is whip my hair back while strandleing him to ‘Foxy Foxy’ by Rob Zombie \:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcSLMY6wocs
I’ll look into your eyes
Diving into the ocean
I’ll look into your eyes
Falling
Like a wall of stars
We are ripe to fall
And if you are a ghost
I’ll call your name again
And if you are a ghost
I’ll call your name…
You, always.
that’s you’re song. Emma Murphy.
amazing, irreplacable, selfless. Perfect.
I’m sitting, here, once again talking my friend out of suicide. just found out she tried to TWICE while my fucking internet was down, because I wasn’t there. and you can’t even fucking help me?!
I just comforted you about your fucking cats giving you a cold not less that MINUTES before, and you can’t say more than ‘just try and help her, Imma go. kay. wanna watch a film’.
fuck you. I thought you knew? I thought you cared? obviously not.
If you could see me now, you’d never have left in the first place.
‘All of my friends have someone to love them, so I’m no longer needed here’
You couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s been almost a year, and I havn’t stopped waiting for you. Never.
Back when we first met, we were so different. I was so happy, bubbley. You were depressed, the typical ’emo kid’. Hmmm. Now…well now I’m just like you. I even dyed my hair black.
I think you’d be suprised how similar we actually are. And you probably thought I was this ignorant, little kid.
If you could see me […]
how many scars do you carry?
for me it’s now 56 from cutting and 8 from burns. but the burns I don’t generally count as they’re not really visible unless you stretch the skin. and most that I did didn’t scar so.
where do you self harm?
I used to most frequently harm on my left shoulder, but I kinda ran out of room where it would be hidden my a t-shirt. So I’ve switched to my right theigh (sp. it’s 3am give me some credit xD)
What’s your timeline?
by this I mean, like, when you started and what you did. scratching, burning, hair pulling, cutting etc.
for me, […]
my subtle etched dreams.
you comsume me
with a beloved grin,
diluted with the productions of my own.
but you are mine to conceal;
forever more
or shall the hindering bludgen
with a tweaking of my own.
I soar.
I crumble.
I falter.
ecstasy in it’s moment,
guilt for weary eyes to glanse.
but not to state,
stereotyical hate
because I see now
you know me.
because unfortunatly.
You are Me.
fuck sake, I already feel better xD
anyway, anyone from scotland here? around about 14-17?
and no suicide project makers, this is not a partner search.
I never really want my posts to be read, never really care if they aren’t. but I want this one to be read, desperatly. I want to know. the title says it all.
Age 1-5. don’t remember anything. nothing. maybe it’s just because I was too young, but everyone else remembers shit from that age. maybe the following will explain.
My dads a phsychopath, full bred. Married my mom and then came her two years of…well what I am now. She was beaten, raped, jailed inside her own home. won’t go into too much detail. Sometimes I think I’m the result of one of those horric nights. […]
I’m becoming self concious about posting here. not that I’m worried about people finding my posts, and stuff. I’m beginning to think the frequent readers are getting sick of my complaining.
bleh, tell me iif I’m wrong. I really need to hear it.
that’s the word… the word that means I’m crying, behind the screen.
‘how’re you?’
‘bleh, alright’
‘cool’
I give you so MANY hints.
‘are you depressed? lol’ ‘not at the moment’
‘what you up to’ ‘cleaning my face, my new eyeliner obviously isn’t water proof xD’
god. I’ve actually been TRYING to give you obvious hints for these past few weeks. and you’re just as oblivious. or do you not care? hm…this time. It’s definatly the second one.
Jake, you know what depression is, you’ve been through it. I can sense it through the internet that you want to ask. you go quiet, when I give you a hint. please…ask. it’ll save […]
When I actually think about it. I’ve been depressed, for quite a while now. last year, I was depressed the entire year, except for my good moments but y’know. 2009…can’t remember much off the top of my head. But I’m pretty sure my depression started around…march, that year? I think so. kinda hard to tell, it creeps up on yah.
almost two years then. I’ve only just begun to have ‘the thoughts’. I expect I could take around 2, maybe 3 more years. that’s a long time to get myself sorted. I wonder how my grades will be effected though. man, they’ll definatly drop. they’ve dropped […]
I write my vent status’s on facebook in a different language. if someone does translate it…why don’t they comment? do they want to and just don’t have the guts. or do they not care…
I hate this.
1. I miss you.
2. I miss you.
3. I miss you.
4. I miss you.
5. I miss you
6. I miss you.
7. I miss you.
8. I miss you.
9. I miss you.
10. I miss you.
11. I miss you.
12. I miss you.
13. I miss you.
14. I miss you.
15. I miss you.
16. I miss you.
17. I miss you.
18. I miss you.
19. I miss you.
20. I miss you.
21. I miss you.
22. I miss you.
23. I miss you.
24. I miss you.
25. I miss you.
26. I miss you.
27. I miss you.
28. I miss you.
29. I miss you.
30. I miss you.
31. I miss you.
32. I miss you.
33. I miss you.
34. I miss you.
35. I […]
what am I supposed to do… do I continue on, through the rain? or do I fall and slowly drown.
I purposly ‘lost’ my polio/ TB jab form. which was supposed to be in for today, in hopes that I won’t have to get it. why? you ask. well, I don’t really know how to answer that. I am, but I amn’t. but ever so slowly, the plate carrying ‘I am’ is creeping down, the weight over throwing ‘I amn’t’.
Today, something so, incredibly horrible happened. I wore a long sleeved shirt for the first time in years. And during geography, someone in my class asked me […]
todays gonna be a good day. listening to the Bears v Packers game on R5SX. (can’t watch it in scotland) with my bowl of Lucky charms! which I havn’t had since I was THREE D:
and hopefully I’ll be talking to my friend jake (: he always seems to cheer me up.
advice to all of you. suck up the good moments like a spounge to water.
I don’t know what to write tonight.
I usually have something to write.
how many time do I have to say it, before you’ll belive it to be true. how many times?
I’ll say it as many times as it takes.
I’m starting to become a regular here :3 I’d like to meet some friends, to finally have someone who knows, to talk to.
anyway. I’ll be going to the city in about…3 hours. this is gonna be hard. (I’m agoraphobic by the way)
Havn’t been out in around a month and a half. and before that, I was out before the winter! I should try though, look at the brighter side of the outside world. hey, I’ll be able to see that cute guy at the shake bar. haha! I’m one for peircings and longer hair ;D -cat whistle-
rightio, I’m off the take a shower.
p.s this […]
You. not anyone else. just you. you’re the only person I can talk to, the only person who hasn’t walked away, who hasn’t ignored me.
Please…come back. I’m desperate for you’re comfort. I need to hear those words, to let me know it’ll all be okay.
Kitty can’t live without her iguana…
Please log in to report posts