is anyone else fascinated by death? I know it’s odd but I’ve never really been afraid of death. I mean, if someone swung a club at my head I’d duck on instinct, but when I think about death I’m just really curious. I would want to avoid pain and obviously there would be consequences, but I’m still fascinated. I’d love to see if I could make a good plan and carry it out effectively, I’d love to experience how it happens, I’d love to know if there’s an afterlife and what it’s like, or if there’s just nothing and I stop existing (not that I’d […]
I should never have been born. No one deserves to have to put up with me. I ruin everything and I’m so, so sorry. I can’t wait to be able to die; I’ll ruin more things but at least then I won’t have to be aware of it anymore.
The worst feeling in the world is to hear the person you love most trying not to cry and knowing it’s your fault. I wish dearly I’d never been born and I think soon I’ll fix that error.
I’ve been in counseling for like a month. I thought it would help more than it has, but I guess it isn’t much of a surprise that my counselor can’t just fix for me what I haven’t been able to fix for myself. My counselor hasn’t offered diagnoses and I haven’t asked. She doesn’t know all the information, quite frankly because most of it is really embarrassing, and also because if I said I was suicidal she might tell my mom or the school. I’d rather go unchecked and kill myself than let them find out and have to explain it. And how would I explain to […]
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