I am completely losing in this game we call life. I am very much considering taking my own life. I lost my best friend, I lost my sobriety, and I have been in psychiatric hospitals over 60 times since 2010; six times since the end of November! I hate living… I am a waste of air, waste of space. I hate life completely, and my family makes it worse. I am ready to give up and die. I have attempted suicide 4 or 5 times. This time, I know it will work. I have everything I need.
I’ve been coping since the middle of December. I just can’t get past everything that has happened.
I was sexually abused from age 9-12 by my father’s half-brother. At 18, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, PTSD, and borderline personality disorder, for which I was in a state psychiatric facility. While I was a patient there, I was on a pass (meaning I could leave the hospital premises, which that time I was for a week). On the last full day, I was raped by someone who I knew and was a childhood friend. I refuse to tell my family about the rape because they […]