BeautyIsSkinDeep

I cut myself

I insult myself

I tell myself, I am no good.

I pretend to be confident

I pretend to be happy

I pretend to be satisfied

I make myself, fake a smile

I cry myself to sleep

I beat myself up

I make myself angry

I just want to give up

I need someone to save me

My enemy is near

She wants me to end it

My enemy is fear.

“People who self-injure are not sick, and are not insane or crazy. They just never learned how to cope positively with what goes on in their life. This doesn’t make them strange, sick, weird or any other insult others might stick to them. Insulting them for this will only make things worse for them.”

I heard somebody say this today, do you think their opinion was accurate?

So my “best friend” has this new friend that she’s gotten really close to. At first it was whatever, it didn’t really bother me. But now that I’ve gotten to know the girl more and I absolutely hate her guts… well no I won’t say hate I just HIGHLY dislike her. We have the same medical class and some kids in my class are doing a project about suicide awareness. I was pretty excited that they were doing it because suicide isn’t a topic we really discuss at my school (which I think it should be). But anyways the girl, my “best friend’s” new friend, she […]

Time to wake up and put on my fake smile

Time to pretend like everything is okay

Maybe today somebody will see my smile falter

But if not it’s okay. I’m use to being overlooked.

All I want is one person who truly cares. One person who won’t leave me when someone “cooler” comes along. One person who will support me no matter what. One person who will make my life worth living.  Until then I guess i’m stuck holding in all of my emotions and trying to cope with them by cutting and smoking.  -_-

So I haven’t cut in about a month or two… but today I gave in I couldn’t take it I had to do it. It felt so good to have that burning feeling rush through my arms again. I’m kind of disappointed in myself though. Hmm, oh well. At least I tried.

I’m surrounded by people, yet I feel so alone. It’s like i’m screaming, but no one knows. I’ve tried to ignore the fact that no one cares, but sometimes I just wish I had someone who did. Everyone looks down at me, I mean I understand why. I’m no good. No one wants me here, so why is it such a bad thing for me to want to just end it. It’s not selfish, there’s no one it’ll hurt. No one will notice.. I need to help myself. I’ve been feeling really horrible lately and I think it’s due to my stress. I’ve tried talking […]

I keep quiet, and smile.

Pretend I am okay

I laugh and joke around

And no one ever notices.

I am breaking inside,

tearing as easy as paper.

Why does no one

try to tape me back together ..

I wish I could just escape from the world. Live in my own little wonderland. I use to be free in my dreams, but now my dreams are almost as bad as reality. I feel trapped I can’t get out. I need a friend to rescue me. The only friend I have now is my blade, but even she gets sick of me at times.

I know how hard it is, I know you think you’re worthless.

But just smile.

No one else’s opinion matters, except yours.

You’re beautiful/handsome and amazing.

Love yourself, tell yourself that you’re awesome. I promise you will start to believe it sooner or later.

Stop caring about what other people think so much,  they aren’t important.

Show everybody how wrong they are about you.

And remember,

You have gone through way too much to just give up now.

I wonder if anyone will miss me when I am gone. Probably not, but it would be nice if someone did.

I just want to leave and never come back, it’s not like anyone would notice anyways.

Does anyone know how to stop cutting? I haven’t cut in about a month but it’s like my body is craving it. Every time someone mentions a knife or cutting of some sort my hands kind of start shaking. Weird I know. But I really don’t want to cut myself anymore. Does anyone know how to stop for good ?

Does talking to someone really help ? I feel like all they’ll do is judge me, and tell me how wrong I am for feeling the way I do.