I’ve thought about taking enough sleeping pills (OTC) to end it all. My desire to live is decreasing. I’m taking my meds. But I still have the thoughts.
I could commit suicide. I know what it would do to my family. Sometimes that is enough but the probability of future despair and current pain. If I have no hope it will get better, why bother.
I’ve researched several ways to commit suicide. Most of what I read indicate a limited amount of success. I’d never use a gun, too messy. I’ve always gravitated towards RX and OTC drugs, My first attempt was Seroquil. I didn’t take enough, You need at least 10,000 mg. I’ve considered sixty Unisome. From what I’ve ready it may or may notwork
I’m not actively seeking, but I have a criteria of events that will steer me that way. I dunno, I just can’t cope.
My cycle of addiction has cost me dearly. I almost can’t recover. Don’t want to deal anymore.
I’d gone almost sixty days since my last suicidal thought. My court date last week changed all of that and suicide is again heavy on my mind. Now I am faced with the prospect of my future self being happier than my current self. Which do I believe. I don’t see happiness in the future.