I stand looking at myself in the mirror and what do I see….?
One bloody mess.
I hate everything I see….
I seem…. so unreal to me
….I’m in utterly disbelief….
Hands bloody…arms bloody… face bloody….
the blade is my best friend and my lover.
We go together like ice and vodka..
I feel I’m in hell… I’m tormented in this shell..
I slice open, watching my flesh strip away…
While my mind goes into a relaxing place….. I feel good now… well almost… let me go a little deeper… almost there!…just a little deeper…now I’ve climax into one unemotional mess… now I hate myself…For […]
I feel I don’t exist and don’t have anyone to talk or to relate to. I feel invisible to the world. The only time people do notice me, is when out in public and I’m going thru my anxiety attacks. Yeah.. they notice alright. They either laugh, call me crazy, or walk away from me if they near by. It’s so embarrassing! I don’t know what brings them on, that’s why I try to stay self medicated when I go out. I’ve tried medicine for all of my disorders or illnesses, including the Anxiety, but they either make me feel worse or I can’t function […]
I would love to wake up and not feel so much pain emotionally and physically! I’m starting to feel that my life is hopeless and unreal. I’m 26 and from what I’ve experienced throughout my short little life on this planet, has been the epiphany of hell its self. Everyday I wake up I’m hoping for it to be my last day, but I’m never lucky. I had tried suicide in the past, but they were a load of bullshit methods. But now I’ve figured out that the only way out of this world is strictly painful methods. We want to go painlessly, but that […]
I wish and want things within my life to get better, but for somehow they just continue to get worser. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Insomnia, Generalized and Social Anxeity Disorders and a long list of other problems I dont care to list. I’ve been suffering from Depression since I was nine years old, I also started self- harming at this age. I’ve been thru alot trying to recover and cope with the issues I have going on from day to day. It s taking a tow on me, and I can’t seem to focus on anything else besides my issues. Hate my life and Hate […]