So it’s Christmas. I have a heart condition and MS (I am only in my 30s). I can’t work so I live with my mom and the rest of my family ignores me or outright hates on me because I take moms attention from them. So now it’s Christmas. We have no money. I can deal with no gifts — not one, not even a candy cane filled with m & ms. I can deal with no calls to say hi because I’m used to it. What I can’t deal with is shopping for groceries and having my moms card declined (we are just over […]
She says:
youll talk yourself into it. Don’t you see all that I do for you. I’m working mySelf into the ground and then I have to come home and deal with you complaining. Your life is so bad. What about mine. Shut up I’m tired of listening to you
i think:
im dying inside mom. I’m dying.
I shut hut up like she wants
the lies. The promise that things would get better. The belief that someone understood or cared. I knew better. I was still dumb enough to hope
why is it when I say I need life to get better than this to not be this empty I get yelled at and called selfish
i have never been this depressed or truly suicidal. When I explain my feelings I get told I’m driving people crazy. Really. That’s their response to my legit cry for help.
i can’t do it any more. I need more than the nothing I have or I’m done,
I have so much I want to say. You don’t know me at all. But for now all I’ll say is this.
i asked my mom for three things for Christmas. Three little things. I wanted to drive an hour to see a light display. I wanted a small tabletop tree to decorate and I wanted no gifts, from anyone. She did none of this. We have no tree. I didn’t and won’t get to see the light display. And I have gifts from my grandparents and am elderly great aunt and uncle waiting. I don’t feel worthy of gifts from these people. I am chronically […]