Here I go again. I’m so done with this shit you know. How much can someone take? When do you say enough? When can you tell someone they’re the reason you wanna leave this world?
i think everyone goes through everything in their head before committing suicide. How everyone will feel and how everything will be afterwards. I guess I’m finally on that stage. I have nothing else to think. Anything that pops into my head it’s to get away from everyone. Stop hurting people I love. And to leave the people that dont need me anymore. I dont have a purpose here. Who am I kidding? I just haven’t committed into really leaving because I want to be here to see everyone else’s reaction when I’m dead. When they’re in the funeral. To see the trueness in people. Now, […]
suicide has become the answer for me. leaving the world wouldn’t be so bad. I’m one person. Who cares. At least no one will know. I’m leaving soon. I’m gonna act like everything is the same. Happy and everything. I can do this. Goodbye.
I’ve gone over this in my head every day. Every minute. Every second. he finally told me to leave him alone. He was so serious. I asked him ill leave forever. I didn’t blink. I didn’t do anything. I waited for him to say something . He told me things that hurt me so much I can’t breathe. i wanna give him what he wants. I wanna leave everyone. I want to be free of the pain and suffering.
I’m here again. Thinking about suicide over and over again. I want it to end. everything. its not fair. Why me. I hate the pain. I wanna get help but at the same time i dont.
I gave him everything. I was happy too. He is my everything. I would do anything for him.. but i’m here. beating myself every time he gets mad. ” ITS MY FAULT ITS MY FAULT” that’s what i say. Â I blame myself for everything. I just wanna make him happy… but i want him to put in effort too. what about me? what about everything i’ve done? I love him you know. he tells me he cares, but he wants me to change and if i dont, he is going to leave me. thats what he said to me. im begging him to stay. i […]
Soon. It’s my time soon. I’m getting ready. to leave everything. ‘I’m preparing myself. Fear is a natural feeling. but once i know im ready, i’m ready to die. I’m ready to get out of this horrible cruel world. I’m not happy. I hate this. I hate crying. every night. Cutting. When does it stop? I can feel myself losing it.
He’s breaking me down. I’m trying so hard.. so damn hard to be what he wants. Does he want me for who i am anymore? Do I mean anything to him? He doesn’t even care that he hurts me.. Maybe i deserve it in someway? but I just want him to care. Why cant he anymore?
I wanna do it. right this second. every inch of my body is itching for the nothingness that comes with death. All I have to figure out is how? How do i do it?
I hate not knowing what happens after death. Will I be happy if I do leave? or will it just be the same hell as before? Having depression has really affected my life for the past 3-4 years now. I’ve beaten myself up constantly of not being able to be good enough, but really what can i do? Nothing. I have to sit here and suffer each day of feeling insecure and spiteful of everything around me.
I feel enclosed around me. I havent really been out and did something for about 4 years now.. My parents are always wanting me to be the perfect child but they cant accept my flaws.. i don’t feel good enough anymore. Everyone blames me for everything. And so i cut.. and i think of how much better things would be for everyone if i wasnt here. I can’t do it anymore. So i think of leaving.. forever.
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