I dunno if this is an ok place for me to post this, but I need to get my feelings out.
I’m not suicidal. Not really. I’ve got too strong of a self – preservation instinct to actually try anything myself. But I desperately wish that weren’t the case. I wish I wasn’t afraid of killing myself.
Mostly, I often just wish I could never wakeup one night. No warning. Just…slip off as I’m dreaming. I don’t have anything positive in my life. My first love, who I met when I was 21, turned out to be incredibly abusive. […]