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CJMudd

More scribbles …..

by CJMudd
written by CJMudd

A warm tone seeped from the speakers, Old wood paneled flee market speakers, Such quality as to make anything sound delicious. They stood 3 feet tall and sat on the floor flanking a hodge podge mess of decks and wires. Some old record cases sit cosily by they’re sides.

‘Miseries the river of the world’ reverberates through the floor reaching the head, of a horizontal man, first.

He wore a white shirt, possibly fitted or maybe he just fit it well. A thin black tie lay considerately over the shirt buttons. Black slacks or chinos covered the lower half of his body, crossed legs and bare feet. Spread eagle he […]

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I lasted 2 weeks…

by CJMudd
written by CJMudd

This small white oval looks stark on my kitchen table. It delicately sits there promising me so much. Pacifying me with prospects of sound sleep, resulting maybe in a gawping vacant stare and some dripping saliva. I feel cheated somehow. My years of toil, of experience, my scars dissolved by this little white oval. What am I if not the sum of my parts. Broken and strained they may be, but mine none the less. I toil over my toil and remain unresolved.

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Scribbles

by CJMudd
written by CJMudd

I stop, just as I opened the door to my home. I stop to look at the cracks on the walls, Like the gnarly veins of some geriatric hand. They a mere sign of age, of foreboding, some harbinger of ultimate failure. I smile and jar the door open. My home makes light of its name, There is no smell of baking bread, no fire place, No patter of claws along wooden floorboards. It is a room, my single bed lengths the right wall. Theres some other small items that sit in the remaining space, secondhand table and chains, a horrid couch spatters with paint, […]

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I found some of my writings

by CJMudd
written by CJMudd

Another lonesome night spent lamenting unknowable if’s and but’s. The walls are coming down, crumbling, slight cracks snake up from the ground, chips of plaster abandon there post and tumble hard, downwards. I sit, watching, and the last shudders of life drift out to rejoin the ether.

I sit and smile, an effect distilled from the pleasure of both watching this event and feeling it. I am a pathetic husk of a human being, an irretrievably broken man, endlessly pestered by apathetic and cowardly thoughts, of means to escape my open cage. I am institutionalized, I fear.

A throbbing vein mocks me as I contemplate a sharp edge. […]

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Whats the hold up??

by CJMudd
written by CJMudd

I have no real complaints, I have a job, no mortgage, no dog, no loans no-one depending on me. I have low self esteem and little or no self worth, I am a perfectly functioning person so long as I don’t have to talk to anyone. On those glorious days when I can go about my business with not an utterance falling out my mouth, not a single bit of eye-contact. I thrive. I live in a city though. Where it is extremely difficult to avoid everyone.

When interaction, is unavoidable, I regress into my shell arms legs and head in short, turtle like. I become a […]

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