Author

come_pick_me_up

PRAY

by come_pick_me_up 2/1/2012

written by come_pick_me_up

i feel him crawling inside, crawling inside my mind and body

what is he trying to find, i feel so ugly

screaming inside no words leave my lips

no! no never! my body he grips

it doesn’t count if you don’t say it

im crying now, it hurts

i want to tell him “go eat shit”

but my mouth still speaks no words

he keeps trying to give me something,

but its something i dont want

he says that it dont mean a thing

and makes me taste my ****.

oh Jesus, God where is it now? wheres the blessed light?

im sure that i could maybe,so why dont i put up a fight?

so high, so drunk, so […]

2/1/2012 1 comment

“so” again.

by come_pick_me_up 1/30/2012

written by come_pick_me_up

God I’m so fucking miserable, so fucking depressed AGAIN. and i’m just sitting here trying to tell myself it’s not ME it’s just in my head. just my messed up brain telling me i’m not okay cuz there’s nothing to be really sad about. unless i think about it. which is easy to do when you’re alone. easy to do when you can never shut your head up.

a couple of nights ago i was just laying in bed waiting for sleep to take me, and instead of thinking about my shitty stupid day i started day dreaming. and in this dream (which part of me […]

1/30/2012 4 comments

Oh to see what I’ve seen…

by come_pick_me_up 6/26/2011

written by come_pick_me_up

So I’m back here again…

I thought I was done, and to be honest i do feel better than i did a week ago but i still feel stupid.

Stupid for telling my mom the facts of my past. stupid for letting her know i was, at one point suicidal,… (and still have tendencies at times)… i knew she wouldnt understand, i dont know why i told her. stupid. but she doesnt have to understand and i finally realize that my life is better as a secret unto myself. a mystery to be beheld by few. much has happened since i told her for that was months […]

6/26/2011 4 comments

i just want to be done.

by come_pick_me_up 11/29/2010

written by come_pick_me_up

so close to giving up. don’t want to be here again.
i just want to fuck myself up. get out of my mind. out of my thoughts. i stopped drinking.i don’t want to go back…
it just feels so inevitable.

Can i ever just get over ONE FUCKING ISSUE?!?!

11/29/2010 4 comments

LOVIN’ LIFE…NOT

by come_pick_me_up 11/29/2010

written by come_pick_me_up

i feel so pathetic. i was over it.

i liked the same guy for two years he knew it too. first year… okay whatever we were friends. second year i had to get a schedule change and we ended up having every class together. we were close. he drove me home three days a week. we had every extra cirricular together. we always wrote on the same questions in LA. we went to bible study together. band. AP english. musical theatre… yeah musical theatre. that was where he told me. right after our fifth (out of 6) show. he wouldn’t just tell me though […]

11/29/2010 1 comment

word, words, words!

by come_pick_me_up 11/27/2010

written by come_pick_me_up

I’m sick of people labeling people. What gives them the fucking right?!? They may know the what, but they don’t know why. Why I did what I did is my story. It makes me who I am, not just what I did. What I did and where I’ve been those are parts of me, but they’re not it.

Don’t put people in boxes. Don’t try to understand them if you don’t want to! If you aren’t prepared to hear a “YES” don’t ask someone if they are thinking about suicide, if they’re cutting, if they have a drinking problem, drugs whatever. Don’t pretend to care […]

11/27/2010 2 comments

FUCK IT! I’M GONNA STAND UP AND SING IT!!!

by come_pick_me_up 11/25/2010

written by come_pick_me_up

i will never be free from this hell… free from myself. the pit is deep and im at the bottom. i long for help but pride keeps me from asking. so i wallow in the peace i find in the most base and depraved of places. my rage binds me to my sins. they hold me down, where the monster of my conscience reminds me I AM NOTHING! i scream, for deliverance and beg for forgivness only when i am sure NO ONE IS LISTENING! so the lies carry over. my spirit remains bitter. the flames of dispair unquenched and the pain of […]

11/25/2010 7 comments