Let me tell you a secret,
For a secret is the same as a lie,
It hurts and destroys those who are forced to keep it,
The secret may as well be a lie, because you are ashamed to tell the truth, you hide and hide until you can hide no more.
The truth can make a whole world collapse,
Can cause unnessesary pain and suff ering but perhaps not as much pain as the secret held.
The monsters and demons that firm that make you spiral into darkness with visions thst make you believe that suicide is the only way you can break […]
So as some of you might have realised but i have been off SP for a little while..
I got very suicidal, didnt speak to anyone and put all my energy into surviving the day.
1st june: My baby dsd contacted me today to tell me he wasnt going to bother to see her for her birthday and he will send me some money to buy her something.. Awesome, i had to break the news daddy wasnt coming over and watched her little heart break.
2nd june: My little miss is ill, 40 degree temperature, shes crying, clingy and i dont get a moments peace, shes […]
Earlier i was sat looking at some old photos and i got quite emotional, thoughts started racing through my head so ill write them..
Its funny, people always try to work people out, but how can you work someone out when they dont know themselves, they are lost, alone somewhere.
You take photos to remeber happy times, but it makes me sad you can never get those old happy times back they are gone forever and like the photo just a distant memory.
The people in the photos have gone, i wont see them again until i too are slso ‘gone’
I am sat here alone,counting the […]
I don’t know where this post will take me, but i just need to write to take my mind off walking to thesupermarket and buying a binge fest. I have already eaten 6 bars of chocolate, 3 packet of crisps (potato chips?) 1 tub of ben and jerry icecream… Been for a run, had an extremely hot shower and my empty void is still there.. Add to that the half block of cheese i just ate and the two cheese toasties that are cooking..
I am also going to my dads for tea, his fridge is stockpiled with binge worthy food…. Argh… Anyone got any tips […]
i just want to die, i have at this precise moment in time nothing to live for. nothing…. no-one. i am crying so  much, it hurts so much, living shouldnt have to be like this…. it just hurts so much, if i could say farewell now i would, but i cant not yet
Tears from heaven,
fall from the sky,
they touch my arm and make me cry,
i look up and see the sorrow from above,
where everybody has forgotton love,
i see the pain reflected in your eyes,
youre the one who cries,
your the one who falls to your knees,
begging someone to take away your pain please,
your the one who has lost someone you love,
how you wish to join them up above,
where the stars shine brightly,
the doves gleam white,
the sngels spread their wings and take off in flight,
they fly down from above to send you a kiss of forgotten love,
open your heart remember once more,
the heavens stop crying when you open that […]
i am sat here, alone in my room in the dark listening to the rain hit my window. It is so beautiful, it is like tears falling when i am unable to cry, like the world is crying for me.
I love the rain, i feel so at peace. When i was younger i used to sit out in the rain with a picnic and an umbrella! My parents thought this was normal.. as was the laying in the road trying to get run over.. but that is a different story!
I think, there is beauty in the world, just peoples perception can sometimes be blinded?
Sometimes I […]