Author

cwardrop26

More alone than ever

by cwardrop26 4/3/2013

written by cwardrop26

I’ve been depressed for 3 and a half years Â ,Â I’m bi-polarÂ and, Â i’m on a lot of medication.

I have friends , but i never see them anymore , and i feel so alone all the time. I don’t have what i used to have , and i thought things would get better by now. I have nobody to call when i’m upset , nobody to see everyday in school and talk to , nobody to talk to in the hallway with , or go to class with , and nobody to spend what’s left of my free time. I just wantÂ everythingÂ to go back to normal. or […]

4/3/2013 2 comments

Problems & Pills

by cwardrop26 8/17/2012

written by cwardrop26

When people are soÂ againstÂ people being on medication or think it is unnatural and the ones who take pills are fucked up and can’t deal with their own problems and just want to feel good. Â I feel very hurt . Some pill bottles are filled with drugs so you can stop wanting to die all of the time. Some pill bottles are filled with drugs that help you fall asleep at night Some of those pill bottles are used to help you . And yes it sucks that people can’t have fun anymore and i understand , but sometimes it is the only thing you have […]

8/17/2012 2 comments

Hurt my self today

by cwardrop26 2/17/2012

written by cwardrop26

it has been months since i last cut. I just Did it again , this time i was in the tub .Â IÂ loved watching the blood flow off of my wrist, then pour into the milky water. It is as i am cutting to make a point to my self . I want me to know that being depressed is not a good thing and the pain is the punishment . I like the punishment , i like the pain . I like to see the scars on my wrist . It reminds us that the past is real and that is something i care for. […]

2/17/2012 4 comments

What’s left ?

by cwardrop26 1/30/2012

written by cwardrop26

When i want to feel the love that everyone surrounds me with ,Â IÂ can’t . I feel so alone and empty , i wish i knew a way out that does notÂ involveÂ hurting myself . I just want everything to be okay again . I do not wantÂ anxietyÂ , fear , pain ,Â sadness, or anything . I just want to be … well iÂ don’tÂ know what i want to be . If i cant beÂ lonelyÂ and upset , what else is there?

1/30/2012 0 comment

Happiness

by cwardrop26 1/4/2012

written by cwardrop26

If Time is money ,

I feel like we are poor

our money will run out

unless we invest our money in happiness

1/4/2012 1 comment

Pain.

by cwardrop26 12/10/2011

written by cwardrop26

Pain –

Scary

Unwanted

unavoidable

When you sit around trying your hardest to feel the sameÂ happinessÂ you felt not so long ago.

then youÂ realizeÂ that when you only feel pain , happiness is numb. Happiness leaves within seconds.

When you areÂ lonely, Â you want to leave you room, and when you do go out, You just want to go back home . But you hate your home. Your not happy at home or when your not at home. Being with friends is good and all, but you find your self wanting to go home, or finding excuses to leave. You cry when you get home, you cry if you don’t get invited to parties […]

12/10/2011 2 comments

When The Rain Falls

by cwardrop26 12/3/2011

written by cwardrop26

Last night iÂ attemptedÂ to kill my self Â again. I’ve been so sadÂ latelyÂ and im lonely and want to die. so i took a bunch of one of my meds then a handful of this aÂ handfulÂ of that . after telling my brother and mom i threw up and now i just feel tired. SomethingÂ hit me last night , i don’t want to die like this. I don’t want to die Â because im afraid of why may come my way. Â When i die i want to be happy ,Â don’tÂ let depression get the best of you.

12/3/2011 2 comments