Every night the thoughts grow louder. Die, kill yourself, you shouldnt be alive. I know I won’t kill myself, I can’t kill myself. But now I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. All I want is to die. How much longer I can hold on for.
How may years has it been? How many years must I endure my hate, anager, self loathing? I will never get “better” and I’ll never kill myself. So I’m doomed to a lifetime of pure suffering. How long will heaven or hell make me wait?