Every night the thoughts grow louder. Die, kill yourself, you shouldnt be alive. I know I won’t kill myself, I can’t kill myself. But now I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. All I want is to die. How much longer I can hold on for.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
6 comments
i cross off every day on my calendar before i go to bed and every night i think to myself “every day i cross out and am still living is another failure” i shouldnt be alive
hold on my friend
make life as comfortable as you can. don’t force yourself to do anything. do what makes you happy. try to find things to live for. I understand exactly how you feel. I’ve dropped out of college and do nothing all day. But I changed my meds and I am getting a little bit better.
I’m on meds, and I have a pretty good job so it just sounds like I’m a whiny *****, but I’m really not. I made a promise to myself years ago that I wouldn’t even think about dying (in any way) until I found someone to help the people I could leave behind. Now it all just hurts so much, I’m alone, I have zero friends because I can’t connect with people, or maybe they can’t connect with me. I have nobody to talk to, at all. My family couldn’t begin to comprehend the depth of my pain so I know I can’t rely on them, I’ve been to, in my personal opinion, some of the best psychiatrists in my state but even to them I’m a total enigma. I’m tired of helping people who cannot begin to help me. Not that they don’t try, it’s just a total lack of ability. I fear that I’ll never find a suitable replacement for when I’m gone, and everyday my mind screams “it’s time, Tick tock” a little louder every single night. I know this must looks all jumbled up and confusing to read, but this is just me writing as it comes into my head.
i do that all the time – writing as it comes to my head – so it’s not difficult to follow. i live in a wealthy town and go to a good school so i probably also sound like a whiny *****. i know the feeling though, no one understands or could even begin to understand how fucked up it is in this head of mine. i helped someone and she wanted to help me back but she saw just a fraction of me and freaked the fuck out. needless to say i am no longer the topic of our discussions. i thought i was the only engima (i cant even figure myself out) but i guess not.
I feel like an asshole reading my post. So arrogant and pretentious.
@darc_flame
why you have no friends?