Is it weird that part of me is afraid of the water? I guess that’s why I don’t go swimming cause I almost drowned 2 times, once when I was little and another time when I had to save my little sister from drowning in the ocean even though she weighed more than me. And another part of me just doesn’t like the water. Ever since I saved my little sister ( 3 years younger than me) from drowning I have not gone in the water really, Ive only gone in when I had to, for example camp when I had to surf and swim in Catalina […]
Im screaming
Darkness is consuming me
No one hears my cries
“Your fat”
“Your ugly”
“No one loves you”
“Your a mistake”
I cover my ears
Shut my eyes
Trying to draw away the voice
“No that’s not true!”
I would yell at the voice
“My family, My friends, My boyfriend LOVE ME”
I scream in agony
“Its pity love,
Family are supposed to love you ,
Your friends wear a mask,
You boyfriend doesn’t want to hurt you”
I slowly opened my eyes
I saw a shadowy figure stand before me
Black as night
Embrace me
It whispered
“Shhhhh, im here for you”
I slowly open my eyes and look at it
It kisses me
I feel all my emotions go into that kiss
It looks at me with a satisfied expression
“The contract […]
You asked if I ate
I nodded hiding the truth
You asked if I cut
I shook my head hiding the truth
You asked if im happy
I nodded hiding the truth
You asked if I was crying
I shook my head hiding the truth
You never see my world of lies
You wonder who I learned it from?
It was you
You lie
I lie
Its a world of lies
No truth within
You Promised you would stay
You lied
You Promised you loved me
You lied
You Promised you wouldn’t judge
You lied
You Promised you would be here
you lied
Now im alone in a world of lies
Im afraid to die but im also afrad to live… Ive attempted Suicide 3 times, but they all resulted the same… My mom never knew….I cant talk to her, she thinks im all better but the truth is im not I feel more dead inside. I always try to make my friends feel better and talk them out of suicide or self harm but im to afraid to ask for help myself.