Wow. I’m soooooo excited about leaving and going to Florida! 😀 Can’t wait. gonna be sooooo happy…. Nope… Just found out it’s posible., more probable that I may not get to go after all….. Well… oh well…. not a big deal…. Just Florida…. It’s just my mom…. Just… I SWEAR IF I CAN’T GO, I WILL FUCKING KILL MYSELF!! FUCK THIS PLACE!!! HEARTLESS PEOPLE!!! Damnit!!! It has destroyed me inside to hold on this long for her, for Florida. NO! If I can’t go, then I probably won’t see her until at least Christmas, maybe not even until next summer. No! If I have to […]
I haven’t done anything yet but I’m about to either cut really deep or go down some meds. I need help from anyone. Please I just need to talk. If I don’t comment back, either my iPod is taken away or my panic attack may get the best of me. Please someone talk to me. I need the distraction or I might not be here tomorrow…
I really don’t feel like typing all of this out again, so I’m just gonna copy the text I sent my friend then eplain a little maybe
” Idk if I told u what happened Thursday but I don’t really wanna talk about it anymore. And today I was actually convinced that I didn’t exsist until Nick came up to be friendly which he will never know how much that meant to me. I’ve never been closer to a breakdown. Desks would have been flipped and then I’d probly fall to my knees and scream. I couldn’t take being shy in that moment. I had […]
Dammit I hate my grandparents!! I gotta get the he’ll out. I don’t even care about Florida right now. I need a fuckin escape, suicide, drugs, anything. Fuck life fuck people (not you guys… Sorry) fuck me. I don’t know why I’m still here. I’m a burden, a waste, and worthless. They won’t let me forget that. Shit I need an escape.
Everything will feel better when I’m back in Florida with my mom. I do want to die now but I’ve chosen to put it off. I want to see my mom again first. And when I’m there all of this will go away. And those who know I’m suicidal because of where I am now, my grandparents, being taken away from my mom ect., ask why I want to come back after summer. Because I do want to die. I want to kill myself so bad. But I’m not doing it there. I’m not going to kill myself in Florida, a place that has […]
sooo during the field trip on Thursday I realized Lois-one of my very best friends was ignoring me. Throughout the day I figured out that she was telling all of my friends lies about me… She turned three of them against me. The other two are loyal and had the common sense to talk to me about it. And they know I am not the kind of person that would do the things she said I was doing. So in one day I lost four of the closest friends I’ve ever had. And it wouldn’t hurt that much if I wasn’t able to see the […]
I am fifteen and up until recently my life was fine. I was already depressed but I didn’t have any problems with my life. I know I’m talked about and picked on at school but I didn’t realize how much until after the big event that ruined my life. I know others don’t know that I’m any weaker and more vulnerable than before but I feel like the talking about me and messing with me has gotten a lot worse since my mom moved away. I didn’t have much of a choice but to stay here with my grandparents and my sister. My sister has […]
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