I absolutely hate myself. Deeply. Â I am constantly lying to people I care about to cover my ass. Every single smile on my face is fake and forced. Because nothing even makes me smile. And then the loneliness sets in and weighs me down to the point where I can’ t even concentrate. My job is completely dead-end, I have no room for advancement, and I’m too much of a fucking wuss to take a risk and change jobs, or to go back to school. That has no guarantees. I’m too scared to take any kind of financial risk, even if it would be beneficial. […]