Author

disengaged

for the future

by disengaged 8/21/2013

written by disengaged

Where am I? What am I doing here?

I’m here. In a foreign country. On the ledge. Looking down. Will this kill me if I jump? What if I don’t die, what happens then? Is it worth it?

I’m worthless. Worth nothing. Quite seriously I’ve just been told I’m dirty and selfish and I don’t know basic manner. By the man I loved.

I guess it does everyone a favour if I die. Apparently I make everyone tired. Apparently all of my behaviours are annoying. Apparently my face is depressing to look at.

I’m too worthless to even die properly. I’m so scared. I’m scared of the pain of […]

8/21/2013 2 comments

I don’t know if I can anymore

by disengaged 8/20/2013

written by disengaged

Everything I do fails. Everything. Something really good will happen to me, and then I basically get slapped across the face. I feel like nothing is worth effort anymore because something inevitably goes wrong for me.

I feel like there is no meaning for anything in my life anymore. I feel like I’m just in the universe to be taken advantage of. The people I care about don’t care about me. And when I try, people don’t see it.

I’ve noticed people only want to be around me if I’m giving. If I’m selfless. If I ever do something for myself or want something for myself I […]

8/20/2013 2 comments