I was sitting on my porch when my phone rang. It was my friend Mel calling. I could already hear in her voice she wasn’t okay. She said to me. ” am sorry I haven’t been in touch, it’s just that my depression has gotten worst and I had taken in. I got super skinny and been going to doctor allot and they are still running some test. It is just that I have been so ALONE…. And I have tried killing myself a couple of times. “. I felt Horrible. Little did she know I was cutting myself just the week before. And […]
It took me awhile to realize that I only ever come on this site when ever I’m down. I wish I could come here just ONCE and say “hey am doing well ” and I though that I was.. I think I’ve been doing good. I mean I haven’t been cutting my self. But am sad all the time. A while back I was sitting in my room cutting my self in the dark. And my mom walked in. So I took the razor and shoved it under my pillow and all she did was. Sat on the bed. Pulled me into her […]
Since i moved to the Dominican Republic i feel as is am no longer in control of my emotions. Back home when i got angry or depress i would just go in my room and hurt myself . Here i cant do that, i don’t want them to see me this way.  My mom says by them seeing me like this it will make it much easier for me to get help, but that’s what i just don’t get.  I don’t know what i need help with, i don’t know if these feelings that i have are just depression or something else. I wish i understood how depression […]
She finally zoned out.  Couldn’t see anything but stars.
A blank, dark and cold place. Â All she wanted was a little space.
She couldn’t breath,couldn’t blink. Just wanted time to think.
Wishing she could turn the clock around and find out what brought her to the brink of destruction.
She saw his gun in his back pocket and wanted to grab it, while her friend in her head told her she can’t have it.
She left the room. Â And ran up the stairs, but the voices followed her,as she felt her tears.
I’m in so much pain, my stomach hurts, my chest hurts and ohh my head is killing me.
God i really don’t know what happen. I used to be the girl who never had a negative bone in her body and now am a girl who just want an escape.
I never meant to brake my promise to her. i said i would sleep over and have the best Christmas with my best friend, especially since she was having some problems at home and things were finally getting better again.
I FORGOT OKAY!!! and the worst part of forgetting was that […]
OK
so i did it, i took my moms advice and moved to the Dominican republic. at first when i got here it was all so new to me. i mean i speak a bit of Spanish,but i would never say that i am fluent. the family that i have been living with are so nice to me, they make me feel so welcome and n part of the family. i mean back home i am loved and everything dont get me wrong, its just that the way i was brought up compared to the way things are run in this household is […]
am just done.
i have decided to take my mom suggestion and move away. she thinks it might help me , but i honestly don’t know. Last night i started cutting my self, apart of me felt good doing it then another part of me felt as if i am just stupid and sick.
i think i have a personality problem idk its just that there are times when i do things and am not sure why, or times were i sit and stare at my self in the mirror and talk to my self, i end up so deep in conversation that the other part […]
i think what makes things really difficult is the fact that people thing am all smiles and don’t have any problems. they see all smiles and my bubbly personality and don’t see how bad i want to choke the living hell out of them. now i know why my parents are sending me away.. am not scared or anything but, i don’t know if sending me to another country will make me change or get any better. i might prob get hit by a truck the minute i arrive so they wont have nothing to worry about any way. am so lost i don’t […]