last night i googled how long does it to die from open wrists.
august is long and september feels unreachable.
i’ve been suicidal since before i was 15 so i guess that’s half my life
ive been quarantined for more than 90 days now and i dread the moment i have to get out and face life again
not that being here has been easy but at least i can be unconsious for the most part.
Been wanting to die for 12 years. Sometimes it’s just an “i don’t want to live anymore”, while other times it’s more “I NEED TO KILL MYSELF RIGHT NOW”
Still, I never did. I want to, badly. But I’m SO tired of everything, even killing myself is too much work. And I don’t have the money for the burial, and I always said I’d left that settled before I die.
I been doing fine for a few months, now I’m a “need to kill myself asap” stage, once again.
Will it be the last one? Will I finally do it?
We can only hope.
Hello again, everyone.
I know, most of you don’t know you, and the ones who do probably don’t remember me, but that’s ok.
I posted a few things some weeks ago, and talking with all of you made me realized I wanted to be better. I even start looking College where I can study psychology, Weird.
Anyway, it doesn’t matter now.
I wanted to apologize for not being around. I had you all in my mind all of this time, I prayed for all of you, but I didn’t feel strong enough to enter this site.
Now, I don’t feel strong enough to do anything, […]
Soo… hey everyone!
Been down these past days, but at least I didn’t take any pills today so I’m not falling asleep everywhere.
I want to share some stuff with you guys, if you’d let me.
First, tomorrow would be my dad birthday, hadn’t he died from cancer two years ago (a quickly abstract for those who didn’t read my previous post: I feel responsible for that).
Even though out of my four sisters I only speak to one (and a half. Does text count as talk?), my mother want ALL of her daughters to spend the day together and try and be nice with […]
Hey everyone, sorry I haven’t been around.
Been having a couple of shitty days, mentally, emotionally and physically. Been abusing my meds and cutting again.
I’m in no place to be helping anyone rn.
Just wish the bus I’m in right now crushes.
I’ll come back to you later, if feeling better.
Love you all.
I promise tomorrow I’ll be active and try my best to help you out in any way I can, but I’m having a really shitty night rn. I already took my meds and even had a reiki session, as well as meditation, but I still feel in the edge of a panic attack. Just wanna get the hell out my mother’s house. Wish i had somewhere to spend the night.
I prayed for all of you earlier.
Hope you’re doing fine.
Hey, since lots of us is having a bad night, I wanted to recommend you all listen to “Beautiful Pain” by Eminem ft. Sia. I stumbled with this song last week, on a particularly bad day, and broke down and cried in the middle of the Mall, but it served me well. I know, it’s old news, but really, the song has some nice message. I find it.. encouraging. To make it through another day.
I mean, when your family consist barely in your mother and your little sister, you don’t have friends, and you can’t pay a psychiatrist? To whom am I supposed to talk to when I /need/ to hurt myself or run away?
Or the Universe, or God, whatever, I don’t know. But now that I confessed a little something to my mother, I want to share it with someone else: I think my father’s death was my fault.
I’ve been wanting to die since I was 15 (that’s almost 11 years now), and two years ago, my dad died of Cancer. Tho I prayed everyday that the bloody cancer would left his body and came into mine instead, of course it didn’t happen. And I think, I honestly believe, that that was the Universe telling me “suck it” for wanting to die for so many years and still never […]
Been reading that the problem with the suicide is that the person feels more pain than they can cope with. But I don’t feel pain anymore. I’m just tired. EXHAUSTED. Everything in my life is loss and debts and failures and panic attacks and I’m tired of this. I used to feel a lot of pain. Now I don’t. Not anymore. I just want to stop existing.