By the name of solace. I emailed her several months back and we started talking regularly, and became friends. I talked to her on Skype all the time, and she was online just about every day. Then she suddenly disappeared. It’s been over a month since she’s been online, and I’ve since emailed her twice with no response. At first I tried not to worry and assumed her computer broke or something. But now it’s been too long and I’m starting to fear the worst. She was the first person I’ve ever been able to be completely open with and now she might be gone for good, and […]
I’m so sick of being surrounded by people that are just so goddamn content with their shitty, pointless little lives. I don’t get it. How do they do it?
Are they faking it?
Are they delusional?
Are they lying to themselves?
Are they just stupid?
These are the only options I can come up with, so I guess the vast majority of the population fits at least one of these categories. I wish I did, but I’m too smart, too aware, and too realistic, and therefore miserable.
I’m working a summer job in a warehouse, and man does it suck. It’s a shit job. And to get through it, I just […]
Anyone know what it’s like to lucid dream? In general I like dreaming more than life, and many days I feel depressed the very moment I wake up. But when you know you’re dreaming and have total control over it, it’s incredible. It tends to happen for me when I take a nap after being awake for just a few hours. Last semester on certain days I only had morning classes with nothing to do for the rest of the day, so I’d come home and go back to bed. This is when I would lucid dream.
It’s been awhile since I’ve had a dream where I was in complete control, […]
I hear many say that, but these are often the same ones that enjoy parties and crowded bars. They choose to throw themselves into large infestations of humans. No, I hate people. I don’t hate individuals, at least not each one by default, but rather people as a whole. I have a deep loathing for our species. Not only because of what we do, but because of what we are. Apes with big brains and bigger egos, meandering around and chasing after all our meaningless goals; trying to satisfy all our pathetic little delusions. Filthy mammals with unnecessary complexity. We are disgusting bodies, covered with sweat, bacteria and dead skin, and filled with mush and […]
I’ve been trying to discover some meaning in life but keep coming to the conclusion that there isn’t one, because there isn’t. I wish I had a delusion like most people in order to get some fulfillment out of this, but I don’t, I never have, and I can’t lie to myself to create one. I’m too much of a realist, and I see how shitty this world is, and how pointless it all is and I just don’t want to be a part of it. I really hate life. Not mine in particular, although mine does indeed suck in many ways, but life in general. I […]