empty22

I don’t know what i’m going to do, like I’m ready to go and I have my day set and what i’m going to do. As the day come closer, I;m excited but, also nervous. Yeah, I had many attempts but, I feel like this is going to be it. I’m not scared to go but, I’m scared for my family and friends. I don’t want this to affect anyone. This is a 50/50 thing. I know I should be thankful of my life and I do. I just don’t know what to do….

What’s better being distance from everyone? Or everyone being distance from you? I don’t know why I feel like people are staying a distance away from me… I like to be alone but why do I feel so alone? Am I really affecting people around me? Or am I’m just over thinking it? What should I do? Stay a distance from them?

How is a suicide act selfish?

I’m not happy, I’m tired of being angry at myself and the world. Is hard to get out of bed and putting a smile on and coming home to be miserable. I care for people and put my life on the line for them. If I want to go, I shouldn’t feel guilty right? I think people are being selfish for not letting us do something we want. Why can’t we be happy without being  judge for the choices we make!?

How do you talk to someone you push away? A person that has been through so much and had done everything they can to help you. But, you avoid them,ignore them, and hurt them. How do I talk to them again? Is it too late? Did I loose the people I care because I was being a selfish *****? Because I wanted to be alone but, now I need them more than ever. What do I do?