When someone who claims to love you, then hates you or at least resents you. What’s really sad is when someone who claims to love you, suddenly couldn’t give a fuck about you. It hurts so much, it makes it a lot harder to fight this monster inside my head. Why do people use the word love so ligtly? It makes doubt everything people say to just make you feel good for a moment.
Pain is eating my insides again. My stupid decision means a big step back. I feel like ripping my skin off, so I don’t have to feel this. How will I be able to hold this job if all I feel like doing is to lie down and cry. I need to get better. I can’t afford to make bad decisions anymore
I’ve tried everything! I’ve only managed to turn my love into hatred, but I don’t want that either. I just want to not have feelings
I take the subway everyday, so of course that’s very tempting, but today I really considered it. I think my survival instinct is still stronger though. For the first time I walk as far as I could from that pass to freedom, because y body sensed something was going to happen. I am in so much pain right Now. I can’t cut myself anymore though, because I would have a hard time hiding the scars. What I have found out is that punching myself gives me the same feeling of relief as cutting and it gives e a numb feeling, which I love. It doesn’t […]
They say it’s going to get better. It isn’t. People who say it’s better to be alone than have bad company, have never truly been alone. They Don’t know how much it hurts. It hurts so much, I just want to rip my skin off so I can stop feeling it. One day, when I stop being a coward, I will be able to do it, and I will finally have peace and all the pain will go away. Life is too ugly for me to bear. People are too mean and I’m too stupid to not believe their lies.