When I was 10 years old was the first time i felt and tough about wanting to die. And since that age, every now and then, depression and anxiety visits me and stays a few months feeling horrible, psychologists? No thx I dont trust them the obes I found where nit very competent. I just try to stay strong and post pone and not put a date over suicide toughs. But now at 42 years old I feel is a right time to put a date, enough is enough
Being honest with my self, I feel suicidal, I constantly have toughs about killing myself and ending this misery once and for all.But I really don’t want to die, I just want to live without the constant overwhelming feeling of not having energy, being tired all the time, not seeing a good future, feeling alone even with lots of people around me and having this thing called asperger syndrome that makes me feel horrible when I try to socialize or establish relationships. Or perhaps its true I just don´t belong here and must end all of this as quick and painless as possible.
I live in constant fear, I react to everything in an exaggerated way, I have also hypersensitivity to sounds and to touch.
Low self esteem because psychological child abuses, I am all ways the different guy that everyone doesn’t want to go along. With a neurologic syndrome where is very difficult to identify feelings and other things that makes very very hard to establish relationships with others.
All this drains my energy so much that I fall into depressed states with constant toughts of suicide and stop all this shit. Have attempted before but pain was too much strong that I couldn’t cut just deep enough. Also I […]