For a while I was okay.
For a while I felt everything was alright.
I thought I was going to be just fine.
But then I remember you, and my broken heart, and the scars you’re supposed to kiss. I remember i’ll never be good enough for anyone ever again and that you’re never coming back. I remember the laughs, the smiles we shared. Then I realize nothing will ever be the same. I will never find somebody as perfect as you. Nobody will ever want me.
I try to think about what you’d say if you were here. I put myself in your thoughts. […]
I keep trying to tell myself it’s not that bad. It’s just a few scrapes. Then I look at my arm an realize what i’ve done; it’s become a bloody red mess. I hate myself. How could I possibly be this terrible of a person. I want to stop; I just don’t know how. If he were here he’d call me baby; say everything was alright. If he was here I would have a reason to live. But he’s not.. He never will be again. I miss him terribly. I wish I could have talked him out of doing it.. I feel as if it’s […]
I’ve started cutting again. I forgot how much better it makes me feel. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I decided to ride the bus home today, rather than walking. The bus driver is very nice, but the students are cruel. I’m not handling it well. It’s not goodbye, i’ll try to hold on a little longer. Maybe try to make friends. But right now, my method of coping will be to continue cutting, and writing these. So for now, this is my only post of the day. I’d keep you all updated, but I don’t want to be annoying. So I hope you all have a […]
It started when I was 11, the bullying. It was simple at first; called fat and ugly. It started to excel though, through out the year. I was a heavy set child, short and pudgy. But not obese. I told my mum, she said I just wanted attention. I let it keep happening for a couple months, then it got out of hand. I started being followed home by a couple of boys. They rode bikes usually, sometimes skateboards. I didn’t know what they wanted with me. A couple weeks after, a brick broke my window in the middle of the night. There was a […]