I keep trying to tell myself it’s not that bad. It’s just a few scrapes. Then I look at my arm an realize what i’ve done; it’s become a bloody red mess. I hate myself. How could I possibly be this terrible of a person. I want to stop; I just don’t know how. If he were here he’d call me baby; say everything was alright. If he was here I would have a reason to live. But he’s not.. He never will be again. I miss him terribly. I wish I could have talked him out of doing it.. I feel as if it’s my fault. My fault he got so depressed in the first place; my fault he killed himself. All my fault. If I wasn’t here he’d still be alive. If I wasn’t here…
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
5 comments
It was his choice to do what he did. If you weren’t mean or hateful to him you probably delayed his choice. Cutting is a way to let out all of your feelings. Don’t feel bad about it. Its your way of dealing. Is this your first time cutting? Make sure you clean them and try not to get dirt or anything in them. I’m here for you to talk to. Fierce Love
I was right, wasn’t I? You are blaming yourself.
You know why cutting yourself isn’t working? because you are trying to punish yourself for something that WASN”T YOUR FAULT. You can cut as much as you want, it’s not going to change the fact that your punishing the wrong person.
It’s ok to be angry at him you know. He did leave you, after all.
No, not my first time. It’s been quite a while since I have, though. And one_day, i know.. I just don’t know who else to blame. I can’t be mad at him, I love him to much. Even though he left me. I can’t be mad.
Sometimes there is no one to blame. Instead of blaming yourself accept what he did. You cant change it so accept it. Move on and live like he couldn’t. If he cared for you he wouldn’t want you blaming yourself or living badly.
I can relate… my boyfriend called, asked me to pick him up. I couldn’t.. emotionally, I saved myself. I promised I would be the last one standing, instead I was the big let down. I dropped the ball. But yea, I couldn’t have MADE him do anything… neither could you. We couldn’t MAKE them stay… as much as we wanted to.