I always thought I wouldn’t care so much when someone I know died I always thought well it’s fucking life u live and then u die that’s clearly true but this is unfortunate/: my bf just had to die of brain cancer I actually rather have it be me. I’m depressed as hell…..and I can’t stop crying I miss him so muuuuch! I still wanna die kinda but this made me realize if I miss my bf this much I can feel sorta how my best friend would feel of I died…I don’t want this stress I feel on him… Hmmm maybe I’m best off […]
Sometimes I wonder if I possibly burn calories from being bipolar seriously switching moods every few hours is tiring lol. Yeah I know it’s not possible but feels like it I can’t keep up. Strange huh?
Time and time again I find myself saying damn my life can be such a movie. But there is a problem with that if the movie is the protagonist’s favor a good ending happens that happens in 2 or so hrs viewing time, life isn’t that short to find out if r life is good or bad. We have several fuckin years to find out how are life will be. I’m kinda jealous of movies in that sense the process is just sped up and then the character gets to have fun. Life isn’t easy. It would make a good movie though but id prefer […]
Please I wanna die badly. But I also do wanna see what life is like yet I can’t help but lean toward death…can anyone try to change my mind???
Fuck!!! I’m still here. This past week has me feeling I really have no strength to stay alive. I have reasons too I know that. I just need a way to make them more important for me to stay here. I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry on. My fakingit lifestyle isn’t working but being real wont work either it will turn people away (so I’ve had experience). Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Someone set the pain free. Really. Please set me free.
I fail
I have been strong
I have went so long
But now I’m falling weak
I should not go on
For I am always wrong
And now it’s time to seek
Time to seek the ways
The ways of the second chance
I can live
I will be free
Set out of misery
I wish to die
Die of this time
I fail
I fail at love
Life
And even death
But I need my body to be put to rest
I fail I know no need to speak
But now if I could only just go to sleep
Im making this really short: I thought I was happy. I’ve been wrong. So I wanna try again. Find a long lost friend.
I can’t wait to see you, death.
I was having fun. I actually started to love life. The earth is fucked and twisted. Once I love life The world gets mad and makes my life miserable. I know I have people who care but what’s going to work? Them be happy that I stay or just let me go. if they really care they will let me die right? I dont know. Well i dont know what I’m doing writin this but I feel alone now maybe that’s why. I’m back to square one. I wanna die.
I’m not making this a rant but,
Maybe I don’t matter
Not many seem to care
I love the ones that do
But I think I maybe losin the ones that used to
My best friend has saved my life too many times I love him for that but i dont know am I his best friend, sometimes I just feel replaced. Fuck my friends say I look like a doll cuz my eyes look like I’m made of glass I’m probably easy to replace/: I thought I meant a lot to my best friend but I guess I’m wrong/:
Well I’m bored. If anyone wants to talk bout anything txt me
914-820-8763. (:
I left sp for a short while cuz life was getting better. This month fucked over….I’m done complaining about my “terrible” life now seeing how things can get better. I don’t wanna be seen as a complainer (which is what I think some of u r thinking of me as) so I won’t complain. I’m fine haven’t cut in a while not sure how long exactly. I don’t THINK im suicidal anymore I’ve been thru enough this month to tell or maybe I’m just letting things go i dont know. I’m a lot happier I guess if I was to compare myself now and me […]
Ok so I haven’t posted in a while but anyways holy ************. I’m shocked I’ve made it this far. My birthday is in 2 weeks I am not happy about it cuz every time I have a birthday it usually adds one more fucked up thing I will do to myself/: hooray! -_- I always had begged for my parents to divorce and in September they finally did I was happy at the time cuz my dad and I got in a huge argument and I hated him for it. Now I was breaking this week at my moms house she favors my sister she […]
I dont know what I want maybe I just need someone. I can’t be alone. Anyone have kik on here?
Dad: well outa anger he once hit me cuz apparently my voice when i sing is shitty?? but he keeps my sister away from me and he trusts me so im allowed to a lot more compared to being with my mom
Mom: works/goes clubbing/or goes outa the house
Sister: beats me/ does no chores/ hangs with her friends/ bitches and complains cuz no one will do her stuff for her
me: at my moms i do house work/ protect my sister/ cook/ do homework/ help my sister do her homework/ play with my sister/ and then go to sleep when she figures out how […]
shes breaking down
oh so quick
she thought she was happy
that thought soon flipped
and now she is dark
dark as can be
some tears are clear
while hers are black
shes breaking down
cant u see
if only she can hit
the bottom of the sea
dont u love her
she wouldnt know
so why not tell her
shes breaking down
further and further
her blades hide away
til her ands meet a corner
and slit her finger
then from there
goes deeper and deeper
cant you see
see what she could be
if only someone
could be just like me
as shes […]
is really messing up my life….during the night im the biggest ***** ever…im a horrible friend……..i just wanna curl up and die….i dont deserve life………ive done asolutely nothing but cause drama……great gotta go cry more…i swear night be damned going down this rode again for a loooooong time:/
you wouldnt know
becaause shes happy
or she looks like so
you wouldnt know
she looks like fun
its a mask
you wouldnt know
she has so many friends
she can only go to one for help
you wouldnt know
she doesnt have scars
oh yes she does but there hidden
you wouldnt know
she couldnt cry
she does all the time
you wouldnt know
because she is a fake
she looks like she has it all
but spend sometime
you will see
that this girl is crumbling
you will see
just wait and see
that this girl
is me.
big scary black figure stand right b4 my eyes…and its telling me to get lost and die already….i started ignoring it…the figure increased in size and tone…it wont shut up so i started talking to it….its harrassing me…so i began holding convo with whatever this thing is….and were arguing…and my ability to breathe is low….i feel like im controlled, a black figure circling me..controlling my every move….HELP ME?
facebook: fakingit SP
tumblr: goldenblondeangel
email: hannahschelling.15@gmail.com
XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD
things will come together and we can all be happy and celebrate the fact that we are strong enough to pull thru all the shit each one of us go thruXD